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Weed: Gorilla Glue + Green Ribbon
Hi guys. Thanks for stopping by again. So, the below post was actually written Saturday, October 14, 2017, but it has been a rather hectic few weeks for me.
This post is a different animal for me, but I have to preface it by saying how happy I am that my message took this turn. I truly feel like the last week cumulatively contributed to the “ah-ha” moment I wrote about. I finally understand how vital being positive intrinsically is to life. The burdens I was suffering through up until Friday night/Saturday morning have dissipated from my immediate attention. I am focused only on helping others and being of good service to the world and am completely aware of my power to control my situations. This isn’t to say that the problems don’t need to be corrected, but it does allow me to be uplifted mentally so that I can focus on problem resolution. It may sound confusing, but I can assure you it isn’t. It is literally your own state of mind that will propel you forward. It is as simple as believing in yourself. That’s it. From there you are happy to be vulnerable enough to be of service to others. This is followed by your receipt of good karma. If what goes around comes around, it makes sense that if you live positively you’ll only receive good come-arounds. For a far better explanation, PUHLEASE check out a Michael Beckwith video on YouTube. Omg!
Alright, I won’t blab your head off because you still have the actual blog post to read. Let me know your thoughts, friends.
I have been living a strange pattern lately. Well, technically, all of our lives are composed of patterns, strange and/or otherwise. Anyway, the pattern: I noticed that when I am stressed and focused on the situation that encouraged the stress, I lose control of my thinking. This is not limited to one specific task or function. It encompasses all aspects of my life from my sleeping habits to eating habits to social behaviors and every single thing in between. When I’m in these moments of fear, (because that is all stress is: the manifestations of our internal fears), I feel crippled and unable to tap into my Higher Self. Higher Self has all the answers and has allowed for and provided all the necessary tools to remove myself from whatever prison I have decided to encase myself in. When I am consumed by my fear (aka stressed out), I wake up every single morning at 3 am completely unable to go back to sleep. It matters not how much of that sweet plant, mari-juana, I have smoked, I can always count on waking up at 3 in the morning. Of course up until that point, I will have slept like the dead, but if fear is present, I know I am waking up at 3 period. Isn’t that a strange phenomenon? How is it possible that I can do that? That any of us can do that? Well, I have come to realize that our minds, and the limitations we impose on Higher Self, are responsible for the fucked up patterns. Because I allow myself to be incapacitated by fear, I lose control over myself and thus every single situation. I become sad, depressed, jealous, and/or negative very easily and in doing so, subconsciously tell myself every single day that I am not going to sleep thoroughly and peacefully. Now, of course I don’t remember ever thinking those thoughts, but that is my point! The consciousness that allows me to move, breathe, and live is also telling me to wake up and focus on whatever stressful situation is present. You guys, that type of power is amazing! Imagine if I used it to focus on the positive things happening simultaneously with the negative situation (because, lets face it, there is always a silver lining)! The situation becomes insignificant because I will have found the value of its presence and thus have taken control over my perspective. If I perceive things to be a different way, then they are! Are you feeling me? I am finally starting to get what ALL those motivational and positive gurus out there have been saying. They literally have been saying the same things over and over: the formula to ultimate happiness. They have been saying that we already have any tool needed to elevate ourselves to the next level if only we tap into it. Sure, I could hear and shallowly understand what they were saying, but on a fundamental level, I was missing the message which was, “Hey, you. YOU are controlling this whole situation. You asked for this in some way and you have positioned yourself systematically and consistently for this exact moment.” I have control? YES, I do and so do you! I don’t know about you, but isn’t that such an immensely empowering recognition? If the laws of the universe say, “you get exactly what you give,” then if I gave my life nothing but positivity that I CHOOSE, of course my consequences will also be good!
Remember when I said in another post that good decisions yield good consequences? Well, here it is in practice! I guess I am just late to the party, because here I am, at 5:39 am feeling compelled to write this blog post after nearly two weeks of not having done it at all! I could have chosen to wake up, lie in bed, grab my phone and tune my HIgher Self out with bullshit, manufactured distractions, but this time I didn’t. I CHOSE to be productive because I realize I hold the power to my own success and failure in equal measure! This revelation changed my life in this exact moment, because the present is all that matters. I learned a very interesting fact this week, that has me fascinated and that is this: the subconscious only knows the present. The past and future DO NOT exist to the subconscious mind. It does NOT CARE what information it is fed, so long as it IS fed. The question from that is this: why not control my mental diet? Why not live for this exact second and not a single millisecond before or beyond now?
As people, we are so consumed with the maybe of tomorrow and the “coulda, shoulda, woulda” of yesterday, that we neglect the presence and power of NOW. What if I lived each moment thinking only of this moment and driven by the positive intent to happily impact those around me? Yeah…are you starting to get the picture? There’s really no limit on whatever you just imagined. It can be as big as you allow it to be. I woke up totally in touch with my Higher Self this morning and ALLOWED it to drive this car. I simply desired it, believed I could do it, and DID! Simple as that. I wanted to feel happy and fulfilled and knew writing a new and different blog post to SHARE (key word) with other people would give me what I desired! It’s cyclical! This is the exact same method that brings negativity to my life. I decided at some point, subconsciously, that I would turn the results into something I actually wanted. THIS is the marvelous effect cannabis has brought to my life. It allowed me to relax mentally and emotionally enough to start learning from myself. I see absolutely nothing negative in this moment. Right now, I am aware of my Higher Self, which is the best version of me. Actually, not only am I aware of it, I AM IT. It’s almost like a completely different person, a POSITIVE person. A person with an insatiable desire and WILLINGNESS to learn and progress led only by positive intent. This is what God is to me. The ability to harness my natural talents and tools within my environment, which is of my own creation (of course). Do you see how EVERYTHING always ties back to personal choices? If that’s happening to me, it damn sure is happening to the other 7 or 8 billion people in the world. Each of us are living the consequences of our decisions, which are purely based on our thoughts. How good or bad those consequences are depends on how much positive intent was involved in the process.
What do I mean by positive intent? Positive intent is the concern of bringing positivity to others. It is totally fine to be selfish WHEN you lead with positive intent. That looks like this example: I want to be happy. I already know making other people happy brings me great joy so I decide to share goodness and thus immediately bring happiness to myself. Did you get that? The intent that my happiness is dependent on the happiness my decisions bring to others. This logic applies to every situation because the situation doesn’t really matter. The important factor is my reaction, which is always within my control. So, I can be feeling creative and want to do an art project. I could totally sit on my own and let my creative juices flow, but maybe I have neglected spending as much time with The Kiddo. Here’s the positive intent: invite her to be creative with me. Truly a simple solution, but lets face it, one that many of us fail to implement because we are so consumed about what WE want and not about how we can be of service to others. Guys, this formula of happiness = positive intent + action never fails. I always somehow get exactly what I wanted in the first place out of the new scenario that included bringing positivity to someone else. Never. Fails. I have applied this to many different areas of my life (romantic, professional, financial, etc) and it works every time. Now, the problem is I do not consistently do it. At some point I choose to be selfish without any positive intent and things start to get ugly fast. Here is where words like greedy, conceited, and shallow come in. Bringing positivity to others can be whatever the situation calls for. Whether it’s visiting a friend in the hospital or offering a helping hand to a stranger or writing a helpful blog post. Those are situations that were driven by the desire to shed light on someone outside of myself. It only makes sense that I too will benefit from those actions. I am sure I will gain exactly what I wanted to!
I never used to think like this, guys! I never used to focus on my mental and spiritual well-being in this way. Oh, how I’ve changed (and FOR THE BETTER)! I’m finally snatching change and in doing so improving my life because I believe I am in control. Knowing I possess the power is empowering and when I fail to harness it positively, that’s when the sadness, depression, and anxiety can seep in. It seeps because I now have the understanding that I chose to feel that way. I chose to be in whatever situation causes fear and I chose to give in to it. The disappointment in the failure to choose control and happiness is what causes all that negative spiraling we are all guilty for. This new way of thinking has been greatly propelled by my use of medical marijuana. Yes, at some point in my life (in 2011, actually) I decided that I was going to change for the better, but the boost weed has given my growth is immeasurable. My relationships with my child, boyfriend, family, friends, and strangers have completely changed. People that have known me for years often can’t recognize me, physically AND spirtually. They are constantly shocked to know who I truly am underneath all the bullshit I put on top of myself. The change is mental/spiritual and by design, trickles in and impacts other things as a side effect. My skin is clearer than it was 6 years ago, I am healthier physically, I workout, I am more confident, and the list literally could go on and on. Hell, I have a blog now! That in it and of itself is amazing because for the past 15 years people have CONSISTENTLY told me I should write. I always technically could, but didn’t desire it. I suppressed my own talent and ignored it not realizing how much positivity it could bring to others and ultimately to myself. Somehow the universe still served it up on a platter; a platter based on my own damn menu! Ha! I just cannot get over how this works!
Even as I write this, I am amazed by the power of my own being. It’s contagious because now I want to apply this to EVERYTHING and watch what happens! Tonight we are having a sleepover for my daughter. I spent yesterday being stressed out by the thought of all that still needs to be accomplished by this afternoon. I wasted so much energy of the situations, that I ignored the fact that it will be an easy success if I choose it to be so. It’s now 6:15 and I have decided that WE all will have a blast because I want it to be awesome. Period. The Kiddo will enjoy herself and so will all of her friends because I am going to put all of my effort into making sure they do. In doing so, I KNOW we all will be happy and carefree. I am looking forward to writing the next blog post and sharing what a major success the party was. Stay tuned, guys. Things are about to be AWESOME!
Oh, and remember to be thankful and grateful for every single amazing thing in your life today. Why? Because it feels good (feels better when you’re high, though. hehe 🤗)!