Active High Sesh: #FlashBackFriday

“Good decisions yield positive consequences.” – Hardy Har

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Hey guys! Welcome back to my weed spot, haha! Last night Dean and I were looking at old pictures of my family and me when I was a little girl. We recently did some reorganizing in the bedroom and came across these photos. I don’t know about you, but I love when I see old pictures of my life and the lives of my loved ones. I get to feeling all warm and fuzzy inside!

Enjoying those pictures was the first step in lifting my spirits from the funk they were in! Earlier, I came home in a terrible mood. I was sad (had been crying earlier), stressed, and feeling particularly sorry for myself. Ever make shitty decisions that you KNOW are shitty decisions and make them anyway (please tell me I’m not alone,  haha)? Well, that’s what I have been doing, not all the time of course, but enough tiny poor decisions to accumulate into a big problem at a later date. Turns out that obscure, “sometime in the future” date is NOW and I was feeling the weight of it all. There was a moment, while I was wallowing, when I came to realize that life is made up of small and seemingly insignificant decisions every single day. The sum of those decisions is what makes up the events and occurrences in our lives. So, in keeping with that line of thinking, I had no choice but to claim responsibility for my choices and buck up and fix it all (or at least set a plan in motion)! That’s one of the super powers medical marijuana has done for my anxiety, depression, and PTSD. It has allowed me to open my mind to the fact that I am the driver of my life. I can choose every single consequence by making careful decisions. That is truly an empowering feeling! Anyway, once I came home, saw the pics, started cooking, and took my first puff of Africa, I was well on my way to excellence. Let’s get into it and talk menus:   

Weed: Durban Poison  (click the link to learn more) and Crystalline

Food: Would you judge me if I said pork chops again? Dean begged me. Hahaha!

*BONUS FOOD: Strawberry Funnel Cake, courtesy of Sno-Balls. (Ya’ll these f*ckers are a problem. DE.LIC.IOUS!


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I’m not crazy about the picture, but the message is everything!

 

We started smoking about 1:45, maybe a little before.

1:51 I am writing this while also cooking, smoking, and looking at pictures of my parents and me when I was young (uh…multi-task much???). Can I just say I was so freaking adorable??!!! No wonder why people liked pinching my cheeks as a kid! Lol! 1:51

2:04 Well, I was having a particularly shitty day (reference above). Just feeling down about a lot of things and I started getting angry with myself because I could see the areas I was fucking up. For example, it was like knowing I could have earned an A on a test, but didn’t because I chose not to study. Something like that. Anyway, I was DEFINITELY not higher self when I came home, but Dean really came through and helped me feel better. One of those things was to break out the sativa, heavyweight champ Durban Poison, aka Africa (to us)! This strain is LIFE! I immediately began to feel lighter about things that just minutes before heavily plagued me. I was able to see all the great things that happened throughout the day that I had previously ignored. It’s like I had a complete change of mind. This is why I refer to myself after I have used cannabis as “higher self.”

So not only did I get to experience THAT ^^^ , I was also able to focus on a task that needed to be completed. For me that is writing this blog post, but I could be focused on any other task just as equitably. Prior to writing this post, I cooked our entire dinner and cleaned the kitchen. At that time, that’s what I needed to focus on and I accomplished it without complaint. You guys, I cannot tell you how much time I have wasted by mentally complaining about the problem!! When I am high like this, I truly am a much better version of myself fundamentally. With proper, regular meditation after smoking, I don’t doubt how capable of continuously rising above each situation I will become with or without the use of mj. I understand that it takes too much energy to focus on something negative. It’s much more effective to focus on the solution! 2:19

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On left: me prior to Africa   On Right: me after Africa

 

3:04 Wow! Took a long break away to eat dinner and converse with Dean. I decided to record our conversation so I will have a listen and decide if I will post it on the new Podcast tomorrow. Eek! Anyway, so now I am back and happily typing away, but am engaged in what Dean is talking about.  Btw, sometime before I stopped typing the last note, I smoked some Crystalline on top of Africa (clearly Dean was trying to blow my top off with this massive concotion!) and O M G I had a total Half Baked moment! Remeber when they were flying over NYC? Swear to God, I felt that damn high! I totally wasn’t ready! Lol!! I pulled myself together enough to type the last note, though.  3:10

3:22 Hi again. More conversations with Dean on the recording about the power of our personal control and what it all means. When I truly think about it, all I can focus on are my tiny decisions leading to bigger decisions, with bigger consequences. We are only as good as our decisions; good decisions yield positive consequences. When I think about how I can literally control every single way I absorb an experience, I feel empowered. I hate to say it, I didn’t always feel that way. I have changed so much, for the better, with or without weed. The weed just elevated my progress and presence even more. 3:33 (got side tracked with a side convo with Dean for a bit)

3:34 About to smoke more Africa sans crystalline (thank God!). 3:34

4:33 Hahaha an hour later and I am back. We’ve been eating and talking more. haha It helps (but doesn’t help if I don’t post it) that we are recording this because it fills in a lot of gaps. One of these days I will get around to the podcast. I still have some concerns about that. Who knows what will fly out of this mouth! LBVS! 4:37

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5:49 So, we decided to take a puff or two more out of our good friend, Glass Castle and start taking photos for today’s post. We are by no means photographers, but we are having fun learning photography tricks and tips. I think am done for the night. I wrote 757 words so far and I haven’t even written the intro or summary and I did all the photography myself. Dean gave his creative expertise and I took the shots. Now it’s time for a movie and to puff the last night of freedom away (the kiddo is back from camp tomorrow. YAY!!!!) OH, and Dean ordered funnel cake from Sno-Balls. It’s going down fo reaaal!!

Tootles,

Hardy Har


Summary Note:

Durban Poison is one of those über special strains that we only break out for parties, celebrations, or in this case, someone is feeling EXTRA shitty-pants (me) because it is so strong! It really is perfect for a party or concert. I felt social, energetic, uplifted, and HAPPY! I didn’t feel like I would be taken advantage of if I wasn’t home. I still had all my faculties in place…UNTIL Dean introduced Crystalline to the mix.

Now, I’ve written before about my love for Crystalline, but don’t get it twisted: that MFer is a serious jolt to the system, thanks to it’s 96% THC content! It dragged my happy ass straight to euphoria, which is truly where I love to be, BUT not when I am trying to work. I can tell you now that when I took my one and only hit of the two together, my boat was DEFINITELY rocked! I had to take 5 minutes to get my life together because I was suddenly feeling the desire to just listen to some good music and dance the night away! Lol! Not exactly great for trying to write, do chores, or anything else productive. If I was at a party and I wasn’t the DD, I would have been the life of the party; for anything requiring focus, I don’t recommend adding Crystalline to your bowl.

I am surprised by how much tolerance I have built up! I remember when Africa used to knock my socks off. It still does, but I am way in control of myself now. I also realized last night I have smoked about 50 various strains!! WHOA! I am such a stoner, now! Hahaha. Gotta say, I am so not ashamed of it. My life has improved in many ways and will continue to improve as long as my mind always it to do so. This is why I will always keep a stash of my favorite medical sativas (actually, everything I smoke is medicinal marijuana).
The Pursuit of Higher Self

ACTIVE HIGH SESH: Asian Fantasy and Pork Chops

Hi there, friends. Welcome back to my little blog about my big love for marijuana! Today’s post is all about the fun we had yesterday with the wildly popular, and hard to find) strain, Asian Fantasy. Alright, let’s get into it! Menus:

Weed: Asian Fantasy – check out details on this sexy sativa here.

Food: Homemade pork chops (yummmm), mashed potatoes, and green beans


3:55 Started smoking about half hour to an hour ago. We are finally trying Asian Fantasy, a fabulous sativa strain, for the first time! Also, in keeping with the theme of “firsts,” I will be cooking while smoking for the first time. I can’t believe I haven’t done that yet!

4:00 Well apparently Dean thinks I turn into fuckin Emeril Lagasse when I cook and smoke! Lol! He is GRUBBIN’ Hungry Hungry Hippo style on these pork chops I cooked! He said these are the best pork chops I ever cooked and I need to be high as a kite every time I cook! Lmao! They are bomb, though. ahaha 4:02

4:03 Dean just lost track of time, guys! Lol! He was really convinced it’s been thirty minutes since I started documenting. Nope, it’s been less than 10. Yup…the guy is baked out of his mind right now. Hahaha! Even though he’s high, he took some really great shots for today’s post! So, HI! This another first for the blog: pictures of moi! ::waves hello:: 4:0622070287_10213915913199596_1924896241_o

4:06 I am so high right now and yet, I am blogging, eating, laughing, and working my Facebook group (oh, yeah…I have one of those. Click the link and join) all at the same time! This strain has turned me into a multi-tasking, super woman! And as a random side note: Dean has abandoned the “useless fork and knife” and reverted to a primitive manner and is all teeth and fingers with this pork chop! HAHAHAHA! I really wish you could hear how hard I am laughing right now! Dude is GONE! LOL! He also just said his fingers are shaking (as he lights up another bowl). 4:10

4:12 I forgot to mention that the Princess Kiddo is off to Science Camp this week so Dean and I are playing HARD right now! Haha. We never get to start smoking so early!!  4:12

4:15 Dean just turned on good ole Bob Marley, because in good stoner fashion, Bob’s music is LIFE! Lol “We Jammin…” 4:15

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Photo Source: https://lastfm-img2.akamaized.net

4:20 Now Dean is playing my favorite song, “Is This Love!” God, I LOVE this song!! Oh, and Dean’s plate looks like he licked it. Lmao! Why am I the fat one again?! Haha. Laughing, but very serious! 4:20

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The yummy chops before they were savagely consumed.

4:23 Just received an event request for a committee meeting at my daughter’s school on facebook [clicks “can’t go” immediately]. I just can’t with those meetings. Please tell me I am not the only mom to do that! I volunteer, go to teacher meetings, attend performances, etc., but those meetings are the straw that broke the camel’s back! lol 4:30 (it took a whole 7 minutes to write that…yeah, I was fucked up! haha)

4:31 Dean thinks this strain rivals that of his favorite: Pink Mango. This shit is fire, though. Haha. It definitely has me feeling uplifted and motivated. Dean just said it gives that “frolic in the field type of feeling.” Lmao what??? Ahahaha! Ironically, he got that from me. Back when I first smoked Girl Scout Cookies, I told him I wanted to “frolic in the field” to which he replied, “let’s go workout” and so, we did. I literally ran around my big backyard with weights in hand, frolicking merrily. #GoodTimes Lol. 4:34

4:40 Just had a nice little chat with Dean about Cuba. haha. So, those who know me personally, know I LOVED my Cuban experience! 4:40

4:50 So, it’s been a good amount of time since we first started smoking and I am still feeling pretty high. The intensity is almost the same that it was when we first began smoking tonight. Dean is now playing FarCry 4 again (bleh). Sorry, but this game is boring to me when I’m high. I prefer the fast-paced thrill of GTA or the chilling maze of Resident Evil. This game is cool, but it doesn’t grab my attention like the other games we play. Anyway, my high is maintaining very well. 4:53

4:56 I think Dean has smoked himself retarded…again! He literally just zoned out, game paddle in hand, staring at my purse across the room. LMAO! He truly had no clue he zoned out until I told him I was writing about his antics. Haha He is HIGH tonight, ya’ll! haha! 4:48

5:01 Alright, ya’ll. I’m signing off the blog for the night. Time to watch a movie and smoke some more. Haha!

Til Next Time,

Hardy Har

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Super faded at this point.

 

Quick notes about the high:

I have to say how much I thoroughly enjoyed Asian Fantasy! It once again proved why I am so in love with smoking sativa strains. They are so mentally uplifting and physically stimulating. Just like many of the other sativas I enjoy, this strain provided the hyper-sensitive sense of touch (which explains why this strain is a favorite for enhanced sexy time) I am fond of while also allowing me to be focused enough to get quite a bit accomplished. Cooking while smoking was super fun! Not only was I cooking, but Dean was taking photos and I was cleaning as I cooked (not something I usually do). We were both social, had moments of silliness, but were able to buckle down and get things accomplished! Not to mention, the food was very yummy.

One of the main reasons why I love sativa strains so much is that they always leave me feeling energized and happy the next day. Indica strains don’t have that same effect on me. I usually feel sleepy and slightly lethargic the next day. Today I am in great spirits, my anxiety is gone, and I feel physically energetic. Not a bad way to start the day. Hope you enjoyed this read, guys. Cheers.

Emotions + Marijuana

 

Okay guys, let’s talk mental and emotional wellness. You all don’t know [well, you do now] that I was diagnosed with anxiety and PTSD a couple of years ago. So, what exactly does that mean for me? In regards to the anxiety, anything can cause me a huge amount of stress. It can be as common as financial woes or as personal as having lost a loved one that can literally send me into a full on mental assault. Luckily for me, I am not one of the sufferers that has panic attacks; however, if something hits that “anxiety button” in my head, I can become deeply rooted in the whirlwind that is comprised of my negative emotions. Not only does that chaotic whirlwind hit me, but it swallows me up and it becomes nearly impossible to get out. It feels a lot like drowning. Logically, I know that “this too shall pass,” but I become unable to stop the cycle of fear and feelings of hopelessness. With the PTSD sprinkled in there, it was hard for me to allow casual and affectionate touching; be comfortable in large crowds; or do something as simple as party at a straight club (yes, I only used to go to gay clubs because that’s where I felt the most comfortable). All that sounds shitty and limiting, right? Oh, trust me, it is. So what does this have to do with weed? Well, keep reading, my dear friends. This is about to get interesting!

Prior to smoking marijuana, I was accustomed to the constant bats butterflies in my stomach, headaches, and heart palpitations. It was a regular part of my daily life; sure it was annoying, but it felt a lot like breathing. When I began the smoking the good stuff, I began to access my “higher self.” Higher Self (HS), in addition to actually being “high,” it also refers to the state of mind that is above the lower self (LS), which is mostly the level at which many of us function. Confusing? Okay, think of it this way: HS is that part of you that rises above the bullshit, pushes through the pain, and accomplishes what it set out to do. HS has only one goal: happiness. Anything that does not lead to happiness simply doesn’t exist to HS. For example, my HS knows working out daily is necessary and will ultimately allow me to reach my goal of a healthy lifestyle, which equals (you guessed it) happiness! Now, without smoking, the likelihood of me following through on any goal I set for myself is a longshot and a half! It doesn’t mean I don’t want to achieve things, but the mental blocks on my HS are too strong for my to penetrate. Oh, but when my beloved Mary Jane seeps into my blood stream and permeates my mind, there is absolutely NOTHING I cannot or will not do to obtain my happiness!

I suddenly become this bustling, active, CONFIDENT, positive, thought-provoking, risk-taking super woman! Small annoyances like Dean constantly leaving bottle caps off of full water bottles becomes much less annoying and I am able to communicate my distaste for the behavior in a constructive manner. My relationship with my daughter instantly skyrockets, too! I loosen up and become fun and positive. I can work with her through a tough moment without ever once eroding her self-esteem or getting mad. I’m telling you, it is truly amazing and feels WONDERFUL! In a nutshell: I become a different person. I have documented many of my smoke seshes, both audio and written, and I have determined that it is almost like I become a different person. My likes and dislikes change; my ability to be constructively self-aware is alive and fully engaged; and I become hyper aware of the impact I have on others. I cannot even begin to tell you how many “ah-ha” moments I have when I’m high! It’s like the warden of my mental prison let my HS out on a day pass. You feel me? I know I am not the only one who gets this or has a similar experience. To that end, share your thoughts and experiences with me. I am always interested to know how medical marijuana has shaped the lives of others.