5 Ways to Begin Transforming Your Life


Mango Cookies (hybrid)

Photo Courtesy of Pearl Pharma

Hey guys! Welcome back to my little blog.

Because this post is less about the weed and more about the 5 steps, I don’t talk about cannabis at all; however, I’d like to give a brief note about the high:

Can I just say how much I LOVE any Cookies strain? Cookies strains, aka Girl Scout Cookies, are sativa dominant and always bring that fun, energetic high I love so much. The Mango part of the combo sweeps through with that lovable relaxation and focus thanks, to its indica notes. This combination allowed me to write this thoughtful post AND do a long and challenging workout. I would write a little and stop to work out. This went on for what seemed like hours! The energy boost I got was super needed, but it wasn’t so over the top that I couldn’t be reflective and focused. This is a marvelous strain and I recommend you give it a shot if you can find it where you are. Now, on to the post!


Photo courtesy of SD Times

Today my mind has been going in 10387834 directions all at once, but one topic that keeps cycling through is that of change. Now, I speak (and write) about change quite a bit lately, but this one is a little different to me.

For the past few weeks, several people have come out the woodwork to say variations of the same exclamation that sounds something like, “Hey, you’ve changed SO much! How did you do it?” And each time someone says that to me, I experience two thoughts: 1. you’re seeking MY advice? and 2. I haven’t changed, but am always in the process of changing.

The first thought is just silly self-doubt popping up to say hello. It can’t be anything more than that because why would it be? People are only going to seek information from a source they trust has the answer. So, in their eyes, I must have it all figured out, right? Not exactly, BUT I am willing and able to share my truths. If someone finds value in those truths, who am I to deny them access to information? This brings me to point numero dos!



I am so thrilled my changes have become apparent through the eyes of others, but in my way of thinking, I still have many more changes to perform and many lessons to learn. There is always room for growth. Never again do I want to become as I was: complacent and stuck. I much prefer the revolving doors of change.

There was a time in my life (not all that long ago) during which I lived fully in the Land of Complacency. I was stuck and bored and clueless to it all. Now I have friends and family seeking my advice. Guys, that shit still boggles my mind! So, with that in mind, I thought it would be fun to write a How To post regarding the topic of personal transformation.

The five “steps” below are the exact steps I have taken to begin transforming my life, but not necessarily in this order. Though the steps are numbered, you can arrange them however you see fit. Remember, everything I write is based on my experiences. Your life experiences will certainly differ from mine, but I think this could be a helpful starting point for creating your own way to transformation.


1. Accept your shortcomings.

Easier said than done, right? Yeah, I know it seems that way, but it truly isn’t hard. The act of actually admitting and accepting your faults really is quite simple. What is challenging, and frankly, downright miserable is facing all the feelings about those shortcomings. For example, I needed to finally accept my own hand in the course my life has taken, for not only the good, but the bad, too. I didn’t like how it felt to admit that I made a bad decision that yielded a negative consequence, but once I finally allowed myself to feel the disappointment, I was able to grow from it. The same can happen for you.

2. Get to know your true self.

I cannot stress enough how important it is to realize you DO NOT KNOW IT ALL! Yes, I know for some of us that is tough one, but let’s face it: many of us have no idea who the hell we really are! In not knowing who we are, we are vastly unaware of how we impact our own lives and the lives of others with our ignorance of self. Question your likes and dislikes. Believe it or not, but you’ve been molded by your parents, society, religion, and social norms. It’s okay to admit you still have some learning to do. I assure you, when you start thinking in this way, you’ve already completed a change!

Take up a quiet hobby like writing. You don’t have to be James Baldwin when you put pen to paper, so don’t feel discouraged if you don’t deem yourself a “writer.” Writing is a great way to be self-reflective. Keeping a journal would be effective in learning about yourself. Write about your day in immense detail; focus on the interactions with people you had, and then read it again. Chances are you will find something helpful in your notes to propel your journey ahead. Make sure to notate the questions you may ask yourself. Having more questions than answers is a huge sign of progress! Give it a go and see where it takes you.


Mentor word cloud


3. Find a mentor!

Dean recommended this to me and I thanked him tremendously for the idea! He doesn’t know it, but he has been my mentor these last almost 6 years. He had information I needed, but couldn’t quite understand. His patience, kindness, and tough-love approach eventually began to take root and grow.

For you, finding someone to light the path is absolutely necessary. You want someone who clearly possesses experience and knowledge you don’t have. These people are usually very successful in business, relationships, parenting, and finances. They are full of helpful advice and offer a fresh perspective.

4. Upgrade your social circle!!!!

Yo, this step is SO necessary, but it’s a doozy! If you’re trying to improve your life, but your circle of friends are stuck in the loop of never going anywhere meaningful, then guess what: it’s time to move the hell on! Just like you are what you eat, you are also the company you keep! Similarly to finding a mentor, you want to seek friendships from people who have information you don’t. Maybe they are young entrepreneurs and have the drive and stamina to motivate a small country. Or maybe they are community volunteers/leaders or even stay-at-home moms. Whoever these positive light-shining people are, find them. Chances are, you know someone who fits this bill already. Believe me when I tell you like attracts like. If your friends are garbage, so is everything they touch. Don’t be garbage. Be golden!



5. Be loving to yourself.

This is, in my opinion, the most important step. Loving yourself can be done in a variety of ways. It can be from personal grooming like haircuts, manis and pedis, or working out to indulging in a favorite activity such as singing, reading, or writing. Whatever you choose to do, be mindful of the purpose: self-love and self-care. Whatever you uncover about yourself during your “me-time,” remember to affirm OUT LOUD your love for yourself. Everything begins and ends with you in that beautiful life of yours!


As usual, I truly hope you were able to find some value in this post. It felt really good to write and it feels even better when people find my pieces helpful or inspiring. Thank you for reading and please give this post a share to anyone you know that might need a boost in a new direction.

Til next time,

Hardy Har

The Pursuit of Higher Self


Active High Sesh: Affirming Positive Change


Hey guys! Welcome back to my stoner corner of the internet. I am so thrilled you stopped by! 

I bet you can guess what today’s post is about. I’ll give you a hint: the title says it all! If you guessed affirmations, change, and POSITIVITY, then you guessed correctly! Sorry, I’m all out of prizes, but hey, at least you get to read the amazing prose I laid down for you. Ha. 

Before I let you get to the post, I want to discuss the amazing menu. I didn’t mention anything about the high in the post so I want to make sure I highlight that information. After all, this is a cannabis lifestyle blog! 

So, this combo was sooooooo damn amazing that I really want to smoke it again tonight! It is just ridiculously awesome! It’s a hybrid combo, but it is predominantly indica based and it packs a major punch! That punch consists of deep, deep thinking (I personally love that), extreme focus (like, laser-focused), with a little social buzz thrown in. Oh! And how could I forget about the crazy, amazing, delicious, sexy time flare Wet Dream brought to the party. What can I say? This combo is the perfect trifecta! 





King Louis + Wet Dream (absolutely f*cking amazing mix)

9: 51 Affirmations. That seems to be the theme of this dwindling day of mine. The fact that I am even writing anything about affirmations at all is a blaring sign of just how much I have changed. Wow. Sometimes I need to take a moment and appreciate my growth.

Anyway, as I was saying: I’ve been thinking a lot about affirmations lately. I have even gone so far as to actually start doing them on my own and with The Kiddo. It occurred to me that we didn’t do our affirmations today. I used to think that whether doing affirmations or not, it would have no impact on my day. I believed that, even to the smallest degree, up until today when I realized I noticed the absence of my self-love.


Isn’t that something? To me it is everything! I could tell a difference in my overall perspective of my day. I felt very lazy mentally. I couldn’t quite get motivated to go above and beyond. I felt myself slipping into complacency, the complete opposite direction of where I’m trying to go. Complacency is a place I’ve been before, where I dwelled and built a life. I now seek a new experience.

Needless to say, I mentally said a few affirmations this evening. I needed to reign in that negative energy and replace it with the ease of positivity. I have to admit, it felt good. Got me to thinking, “Hey, why didn’t I do this earlier?” It really is such a simple thing, but it effectively reminded me to tap into my Higher Self.

It’s the implementation of a thought process. One that is free of negative constraints. Try it and see for yourself! Before you know it, you’re wearing locs in your hair, smoking weed, and writing a blog about affirming yourself. Ha! See what I mean about the change I mentioned earlier? The woman I am today wasn’t even a possibility for the woman I was a year ago.


Even though I have been on the path to Higher Self since 2011, I can honestly say that I have learned more since my stoner birthday in Feb 2017 than I have up until that point. The speed of change and enlightenment within/of myself has helped me blossom rapidly. As I just pointed out, I am almost unrecognizable as a person.

Every time someone points it out to me, I can’t help but laugh. I truly am the happiest I have been in my life, even through situations that have been very, very challenging. Some days are better than others and some days are positively great, but at the end of each one, I am happy still. I’m learning and practicing to begin and end each day by choosing to be happy.

I want to choose levity, not gravity –and I’m not only referring to getting stoned, though that is a valid point 😆. I’m saying I want to choose to tell myself everyday that I am awesome and good so that I can deliver my light to other people. If I am always down in the dumps, how much positivity is present? Not much. That means that I am then causing negative impacts to other people. 10:01


10:02 A couple of hours ago, we started watching Lisa Nichols interviews on YouTube and she spoke very firmly about affirming herself daily and rigorously. Ironic? I don’t think so. Affirmations were on my mind and the universe gave me exactly what I wanted. I only had to think it and Bam! Just like that, I watched something that prompted me to do what I already knew I should have done.

I digress. She said that she affirmed herself  7 times a day with variations of 3 core sentences:

  1. “I Am Proud That You…”
  2. “I Forgive You (for)…”
  3. “I Commit to You…”

Each time I heard her say it again, it became more inspiring. Needless to say, by the end of the last video, I was affirming myself. And because I affirmed myself, I decided to write because I knew I wanted to do so. I made a choice to not let myself down.

I don’t know if you buy into all of these things that I’m saying, but my one hope is that some seemingly random person will read this and be inspired to make him/herself happy. If that person is you, please know that there’s at least one other person ( me 🤗) who believes you have the power to change your life and you CAN do it! You can. YOU CAN! 10:31

Til Next Time,

Hardy HarThe Pursuit of Higher Self

Active High Sesh: Big Mouth, Bigger High

Hey tokers! Welcome back to my page. This blog post was actually written October 24, 2017, but for whatever reason, I never posted it. I am here to remedy that right now! 

On this night, Dean had the brilliant idea to make a super hybrid! It’s always exciting to try new mixes. I’ve smoked and documented these individual strains before so it was interesting to me to try them all at once. This is probably one of my favorite combos. 

It was relaxing and social, but the indica notes present in the combo provided that focus I am addicted to. Granted, there were plenty of times I got distracted, I can say that I was still able to get quite a bit accomplished that night. 

Anyway, I hope you enjoy the read and visit me again soon! 



Menu: Jack Herrer (sativa) + Blue Dream (hybrid) + Platinum Dutch Treat (hybrid)

Food: Some delicious fajita style chicken and veggies sans the tortilla and Cascadian Farm Honey Oat granola cereal. Lol Random as f*ck!

7:41 We started smoking about 45 mins (I think) ago, but I didn’t start taking notes until now. So, Dean and I have been watching this show called Big Mouth on Netflix. Guys, let me tell you something: I have NEVER laughed so hard at a show! It’s one of those animated adult cartoons like South Park, but WAY funnier! I mean, this shit is 100% relatable AND it tackles major stereotypes and social problems by making you think and laugh hilariously! Just watch it because my description is not doing it justice! 7:46

7:48 Earlier, I asked 20 other cannabis users which of them smoked for depression/anxiety. Only two female smokers responded and they both had similar experiences to mine: anxiety and/or depression prone, but functional. The first half of the day, I was chipper, excited, and motivated. By the second half of the day, I began to feel down in the dumps. Guys, this rollercoaster of despair only ever occurs when I am on my period!! I had PMS prior to Feb 2017, but since I started smoking weed, I feel like I have the WORST PMS ever and it lasts the whole period and not just the beginning like before!! Sorry for the TMI, but for the female smokers out there, maybe you’ll understand what I’m saying. I feel like I need to smoke more than my usual amount to compensate for the PMS, otherwise I crash. It’s crazy. Has anyone else felt this way? 7:54

Yeah…this pretty much sums it up!

7:56 Dean and I are talking about what we think is happening when my emotions get like this. He said, when we first met, my regular demeanor was at a baseline of negativity. Meaning, feeling down was normal, so I could function very well there. When I started progressing and making small changes (those turned into bigger changes) in my life, my baseline became more positive, meaning feeling HAPPY became the norm. So, when my hormones come in and shit on my life (thanks Mother Nature), it drags me back to that negative space and I can’t handle it! That’s the rollercoaster! It totally makes sense now why it hits me so hard. Being a Debbit Downer simply isn’t normal to me anymore. I have moved passed that, even prior to smoking weed in February. The difference is that I feel freer in general. I hope this makes sense to you. We could be way off base, but that seems to make so much sense right now. It describes exactly what I am experiencing. 8:04

8:11 We just hit a dead zone in our exciting conversation. Lol. We were so hyped up about our business ideas and then we just went back to working: me with the blog post, him with his business Instagram page. Ya’ll, he for real started the day with 500 followers. It is 8:12 pm on the same day and he now just reached 17k (Now over 40k)!!!!!!!!!!!!! We are freaking out! He even has his own trending hashtag!!! So damn exciting! Now I need to implement what he did on my shit and watch this blog take off! ::kicks self in ass:: lol! 8:15

Ha! Me trying to focus when I am high.

8:21 About the high: Well, this is some type of homemade hybrid again (we have the habit of getting locked into a pattern of the same thing) featuring Jack Herrer + Bluedream + Dutch Platinum. It’s got that harsh, vampire thirst throat burn that I absolutely loathe! I always know when we are smoking JH because it is such a harsh inhale to me. The motherfucker will get you high, but it’ll burn your throat out in the process! Anyway, this combo is one hell of a cocktail! I feel so much better than I did before, but mellow at the same time. Euphoria isn’t present, but I don’t even care because the high is so uplifting! Really good combo! I bet I will sleep like I’m in a coma. Haha! Love those deep sleeps! 8:25

8:29 We’re back to watching Big Mouth and it just refuses to disappoint! The jokes are just soooooo inappropriate and hilarious! This is the perfect high-sesh-thing to watch! As it is, I could barely finish this note because I was laughing so hard. If you’re sensitive, don’t watch it. If you’re open minded and/or high, go for it!! You won’t regret it! 8:36


9:20 Wow, I can’t believe it’s been almost two hours! We finished all of Big Mouth and were so sad that we couldn’t continue to watch the show that we started it over from the beginning! This first episode is the funniest thing I have ever seen! Lmao! It is ridiculously funny! (In case you didn’t notice, I am totally BAKED right now!) 9:22

9:24 Dean went to make himself some tacos and I sorta accidentally smoked like 90% of what was left in the bowl! LMAO! I literally started stifle-laughing so he wouldn’t hear me! He’s gonna be in for an unhappy surprise when he comes back! 😂​ Actually, there’s a chance that he may be too baked to even notice. We shall see. 9:27

9:35 He noticed. 😂😂😂​ Refill time, please! 9:35

9:46 This show…OMG please watch it! So, it’s been two hours since I started typing this. Feels like it’s been about an hour. I can’t get over the weird thing that happens to time when you’re inebriated by whatever preferred substance (i.e. alcohol, mushrooms, etc.). What is it about time when we are high? I need to look that shit up and read someone else’s thoughts about it. Haha. Anyway, I am going to call it quits for the night. It’s been 2 hours and a thousand words later, cheerio, dahlings!

Til next time,

Hardy Har

The Pursuit of Higher Self


Unicorns and Mary Jane: A Halloween Story

This post was written on 11/1/17, but due to technical difficulties, the post is a day late.


Hey guys! Thanks for stopping by again. Today’s post is a recap on Halloween 2017 for me and mine.

The Kiddo dressed up as an “alicorn,” but everyone just kept calling her a unicorn (mom included). If you’re anything like me, you’re probably thinking, “WTF is an alicorn?” Well, my friends, please step into the realm of 10-year-old girl interests. An alicorn is a unicorn with wings! You got it! Mama was a Unicorn and had the hots for daddy, a Pegasus and BAM! An alicorn was born! Haha! Please feel free to thank My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic for that fascinating, fairy-tale biology lesson.

Anyway, she was truly, the prettiest little unicorn/alicorn thingy ever! It was a total DIY costume comprised of things we already owned with the addition of some Dollar Tree buys to make her unicorn horn headband. I gotta admit, I impressed myself with how well the headband looked. Unfortunately I was too lazy forgot to make ears for it, but I doubt anyone but me noticed.

Halloween has never been one of those days that ever really interested me. I never have been much of a candy eater and I always loathed trick-o-treating as a kid. In fact, my mom used to force me to go every year because she loved/loves it so much! For me, dressing up was fun, but outside of that, meh, no interest. If it didn’t involve a scary movie night in, it was a pass for me.

Introducing The Kiddo (and witchy photo bomber). Isn’t she lovely?!

Fast forward to parenthood and The Kiddo is ALL ABOUT Halloween. She loves it from top to bottom: the costume, the school parade, and the trick-o-treating. Ironically enough though, she doesn’t eat any candy except chocolate. She always picks out all the nut-less chocolate treats from her haul and gives the rest to others (us, grandparents, neighbors, etc). I eventually throw it away, but we all enjoy picking out our fave here and there.

This Halloween, I decided to approach it with a whole new attitude! As you know, Dean and I usually have our high seshes in the evenings, so I was faced with a dilemma of having to trick-o-treat instead of blaze! Haha! Yeah, it’s that much of a priority for me. So, what did I decide to do? Smoke BEFORE we left, of course! I figured it would be an awesome idea and allow me to actually have fun trick-o-treating instead of being a poop.

The Kiddo and I got home from school around 3 and she hung out with Nana and Papa at their house (next door) while Dean and I toked it up at my house. Why not? We had three hours to kill before heading out for the spooky adventure.


Can I just say that I am SO happy we did that?! I uttered not a single complaint about the uphill walking, the limited houses giving out treats (I suspect this has something to do with the World Series), or anything at all. I was just a free, fun-loving, awesome mom out with her family begging strangers for candy. I can honestly say it was my first time thoroughly enjoying trick-o-treating.

The Alicorn had such a great time with us. She laughed, played, ran, and was so happy to see her mommy have fun, too. Looking back on it, what occurred was me being my best self in that moment and it cost me absolutely nothing.

Not only did we all have fun together, but I also got some really great photos! Gotta admit I was pretty impressed with some of the shots I took. I mean, I’m no pro, but hey, I dig them and maybe you will, too. All the pictures featured on this post were shot by yours truly and are from last night.

One of the pictures I took. Not too shabby!


Moral of the story? This was a major win for me personally. I could actually feel and see the changes I have made in my life working in that moment. Sure the weed helped, but if I am being totally honest, I knew I didn’t need to smoke to loosen up. I know I have already begun implementing changes in my daily life to make sure that each interaction reaches is optimal point. I don’t always reach it, and some days are certainly harder than others, but I work on it daily.

I have changed so much that I am becoming one of those happy, carefree people who bring happiness instead of negativity to others. There are people who live their lives like that daily. We all know who they are. They are the ones drowning in happiness and success. I’ve wanted to be one of those people all my life and thanks to my medical marijuana, I am becoming one more and more.

Thanks for reading.

Hardy Har

The Pursuit of Higher Self


Fear: It’s Useless So GET RID OF IT!

Fear: a tiny four letter world, seemingly insignificant, but responsible for many of our poor decisions. Don’t believe me? Keep reading.

I have mentioned before, probably numerous times, that I am not an expert about things in general, but I know a lot about many different things, and most importantly, I AM an expert about MYSELF. I can honestly admit that 99% of the dreams, goals, ideas, ideals, aspirations, and inventions I have had over the years were deemed “too scary” for me to pursue. Now, that acknowledgment begs the question, “What in the world are you afraid of, girl!?” Well, let me count the ways (lol): I am afraid of failing, afraid of succeeding, afraid of hard work, afraid of sacrifice, afraid that I have no clue what in the world I am doing, afraid of being judged, and afraid of letting myself down. Pheew! That’s a lot of shit to be afraid of! Seeing the words types out is kind of like a shock to my mind. My Higher Self is like, “Girl, if you don’t stop being ridiculous and let us live this amazing life!” And you know what? She’s not wrong. What a waste of the MOST important commodity in life: TIME! Okay, so it should be a piece of cake to stop wasting my time on BS, unhelpful f-e-a-r, right? Well, let’s just say that is easier said than done, but certainly not impossible.




How does marijuana fit into all this?

Way back in 2011, I was going through a majorly tough time. I was getting divorced, preparing for a custody battle, and was being screened for cervical AND ovarian cancer. I was feeling really shitty and SCARED! I was so afraid that I couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, hardly smiled, and my body was manifesting all that negative energy. By the end of the year, when I finally received a miraculously clean bill of health, I told myself I was going to begin changing my life. I started saying “yes” to a few things I normally would shy away from and the behavior became contagious. Once I changed one thing, I had to keep making other changes.

Fast forward 6 years, I said “yes” to trying medical marijuana when my anxiety was beginning to get the best of me. At first it was just mere curiosity, but the second time I smoked (the first time was racked with paranoia), I noticed a major change in my personality. I immediately decided I needed to document my emotional and mental reactions and thus, this blog was born. At the time, I didn’t know I would be blogging about it in an open forum, but I was committed to taking detailed notes for my own personal growth.

In documenting my experiences, I’ve noticed that I am beginning to take the lessons I learn while I am high, and applying them to my sober life. For example, it’s easy to be fun, compassionate, caring, and easy-going when I’m high, but often times those things don’t come out unless I feel secure. When I’m high, I am always confident, secure, and relaxed, but the question became, “How can I be like this all the time?” Once I started having higher expectations of myself, it was a little easier to open myself up to even more opportunities. I found myself at social events where I formerly would’ve been a wallflower, suddenly morphed into the belle of the ball! I was boldly starting conversations with strangers, actively listening (not just waiting for the chance to talk), and even dancing! Ya’ll the dancing is HUGE for me! My friends still can’t believe I dance now when we go out, but my way of thinking is, I can’t believe I didn’t dance before.

Photo Credit: Colorbox


Talk yourself UP, not down.

I always say that fear is crippling. I feel so incapacitated by it sometimes that it’s overwhelming. A perfect example of that is my writing. Logically I know I can write decently, and there is some type of enjoyment in it, but I am always plagued with mental blocks that deter me from being truly great. My initial go-to reaction is “Ugh, I don’t want to do this” or “What am I going to write about? I’m no expert.” Yeah, I basically talk myself out of it before I can even get started! Talk about destructive behavior. Geesh!

Because I am new to this New Thought way of thinking, my initial thoughts are still often negative and fear based, so I started rudely interrupting myself and interjecting positivity instead! It may sound silly, but as soon as I feel myself thinking something unhelpful, I allow my Higher Self to butt in and say something like “You’re an excellent writer with a great message to share.” I gotta admit, just reading that made me feel a little better and more confident. In a world full of Debbie Downers looking to drag my mental state to hell, why should I jump on the bandwagon? If I am not cheering for myself, who the hell else will? So, START BUILDING YOURSELF UP, too!

Don’t worry, you’ve done this before.

Yes, we know it isn’t easy peasy to just get rid of our fears, but as I previously said, it isn’t impossible. I have learned that NOTHING is impossible if the mind truly believes in it. Think about it this way: have you ever wanted to purchase something that was outside of your budget, but you felt like you just had to have it anyway? What did you do to obtain what you wanted? This excludes someone else buying it for you; although, in some of those situations, you still likely had to do something to earn a gift, but I want you to allow your mind to focus on a time when you had to depend on yourself to get it. In all likelihood, you had to save money by skipping short term gratifying desires like dining out, shopping, etc. Or perhaps you needed to pick up a secondary stream of income.

Whatever method you used, it was all apart of the process to help you achieve your goal. It required sacrifice of your time, energy, and physical endurance. Do you see where this is going? I bet you do! So, if you apply that same commitment and energy to any goal, why wouldn’t the outcome be a success? More importantly, why aren’t our goals just as important as some bauble, game, or vacation? It’s a valid question and one that I have begun asking myself (clearly I just ask questions of myself all day. LBVS). At the end of the day, holding on to fear is only forcing what I truly desire further and further from my grasp and THAT, my friends, is the truly terrifying reality.




Best advice?

Be kind and forgiving to yourself. Recognize that vulnerability can be scary, sure, but you also need it to be brave. Bravery to me is courage + fear. It’s okay to be afraid, but only as far as a general human reaction. Please, please, PLEASE do not allow it to incapacitate you. I know it’s tempting to give in to the downward spiral of fear and negativity, but do your absolute BEST to break that vicious, sh*tty cycle. Where as it ever gotten you, anyway? Don’t forget, there’s always a sweet little heaven-sent plant that’s been cultivated, nurtured, and packaged at your local dispensary just for you. There’s no shame in giving yourself a little push of enlightenment. Besides…you might even enjoy it.😉

Til next time, tokers and jokers.

Hardy Har

The Pursuit of Higher Self


Happiness = Positive Intent + Action

Menu Right Now:

Weed: Gorilla Glue + Green Ribbon

Hi guys. Thanks for stopping by again. So, the below post was actually written Saturday, October 14, 2017, but it has been a rather hectic few weeks for me. 

This post is a different animal for me, but I have to preface it by saying how happy I am that my message took this turn. I truly feel like the last week cumulatively contributed to the “ah-ha” moment I wrote about. I finally understand how vital being positive intrinsically is to life. The burdens I was suffering through up until Friday night/Saturday morning have dissipated from my immediate attention. I am focused only on helping others and being of good service to the world and am completely aware of my power to control my situations. This isn’t to say that the problems don’t need to be corrected, but it does allow me to be uplifted mentally so that I can focus on problem resolution. It may sound confusing, but I can assure you it isn’t. It is literally your own state of mind that will propel you forward. It is as simple as believing in yourself. That’s it. From there you are happy to be vulnerable enough to be of service to others. This is followed by your receipt of good karma. If what goes around comes around, it makes sense that if you live positively you’ll only receive good come-arounds. For a far better explanation, PUHLEASE check out a Michael Beckwith video on YouTube. Omg!

Alright, I won’t blab your head off because you still have the actual blog post to read. Let me know your thoughts, friends. 


Hardy Har


I have been living a strange pattern lately. Well, technically, all of our lives are composed of patterns, strange and/or otherwise. Anyway, the pattern: I noticed that when I am stressed and focused on the situation that encouraged the stress, I lose control of my thinking. This is not limited to one specific task or function. It encompasses all aspects of my life from my sleeping habits to eating habits to social behaviors and every single thing in between. When I’m in these moments of fear, (because that is all stress is: the manifestations of our internal fears), I feel crippled and unable to tap into my Higher Self. Higher Self has all the answers and has allowed for and provided all the necessary tools to remove myself from whatever prison I have decided to encase myself in. When I am consumed by my fear (aka stressed out), I wake up every single morning at 3 am completely unable to go back to sleep. It matters not how much of that sweet plant, mari-juana, I have smoked, I can always count on waking up at 3 in the morning. Of course up until that point, I will have slept like the dead, but if fear is present, I know I am waking up at 3 period. Isn’t that a strange phenomenon? How is it possible that I can do that? That any of us can do that? Well, I have come to realize that our minds, and the limitations we impose on Higher Self, are responsible for the fucked up patterns. Because I allow myself to be incapacitated by fear, I lose control over myself and thus every single situation. I become sad, depressed, jealous, and/or negative very easily and in doing so, subconsciously tell myself every single day that I am not going to sleep thoroughly and peacefully. Now, of course I don’t remember ever thinking those thoughts, but that is my point! The consciousness that allows me to move, breathe, and live is also telling me to wake up and focus on whatever stressful situation is present. You guys, that type of power is amazing! Imagine if I used it to focus on the positive things happening simultaneously with the negative situation (because, lets face it, there is always a silver lining)! The situation becomes insignificant because I will have found the value of its presence and thus have taken control over my perspective. If I perceive things to be a different way, then they are! Are you feeling me? I am finally starting to get what ALL those motivational and positive gurus out there have been saying. They literally have been saying the same things over and over: the formula to ultimate happiness. They have been saying that we already have any tool needed to elevate ourselves to the next level if only we tap into it. Sure, I could hear and shallowly understand what they were saying, but on a fundamental level, I was missing the message which was, “Hey, you. YOU are controlling this whole situation. You asked for this in some way and you have positioned yourself systematically and consistently for this exact moment.” I have control? YES, I do and so do you! I don’t know about you, but isn’t that such an immensely empowering recognition? If the laws of the universe say, “you get exactly what you give,” then if I gave my life nothing but positivity that I CHOOSE, of course my consequences will also be good!


Remember when I said in another post that good decisions yield good consequences? Well, here it is in practice! I guess I am just late to the party, because here I am, at 5:39 am feeling compelled to write this blog post after nearly two weeks of not having done it at all! I could have chosen to wake up, lie in bed, grab my phone and tune my HIgher Self out with bullshit, manufactured distractions, but this time I didn’t. I CHOSE to be productive because I realize I hold the power to my own success and failure in equal measure! This revelation changed my life in this exact moment, because the present is all that matters. I learned a very interesting fact this week, that has me fascinated and that is this: the subconscious only knows the present. The past and future DO NOT exist to the subconscious mind. It does NOT CARE what information it is fed, so long as it IS fed. The question from that is this: why not control my mental diet? Why not live for this exact second and not a single millisecond before or beyond now?

As people, we are so consumed with the maybe of tomorrow and the “coulda, shoulda, woulda” of yesterday, that we neglect the presence and power of NOW. What if I lived each moment thinking only of this moment and driven by the positive intent to happily impact those around me? Yeah…are you starting to get the picture? There’s really no limit on whatever you just imagined. It can be as big as you allow it to be. I woke up totally in touch with my Higher Self this morning and ALLOWED it to drive this car. I simply desired it, believed I could do it, and DID! Simple as that. I wanted to feel happy and fulfilled and knew writing a new and different blog post to SHARE (key word) with other people would give me what I desired! It’s cyclical! This is the exact same method that brings negativity to my life. I decided at some point, subconsciously, that I would turn the results into something I actually wanted. THIS is the marvelous effect cannabis has brought to my life. It allowed me to relax mentally and emotionally enough to start learning from myself. I see absolutely nothing negative in this moment. Right now, I am aware of my Higher Self, which is the best version of me. Actually, not only am I aware of it, I AM IT. It’s almost like a completely different person, a POSITIVE person. A person with an insatiable desire and WILLINGNESS to learn and progress led only by positive intent. This is what God is to me. The ability to harness my natural talents and tools within my environment, which is of my own creation (of course). Do you see how EVERYTHING always ties back to personal choices? If that’s happening to me, it damn sure is happening to the other 7 or 8 billion people in the world. Each of us are living the consequences of our decisions, which are purely based on our thoughts. How good or bad those consequences are depends on how much positive intent was involved in the process.


What do I mean by positive intent? Positive intent is the concern of bringing positivity to others. It is totally fine to be selfish WHEN you lead with positive intent. That looks like this example: I want to be happy. I already know making other people happy brings me great joy so I decide to share goodness and thus immediately bring happiness to myself. Did you get that? The intent that my happiness is dependent on the happiness my decisions bring to others. This logic applies to every situation because the situation doesn’t really matter. The important factor is my reaction, which is always within my control. So, I can be feeling creative and want to do an art project. I could totally sit on my own and let my creative juices flow, but maybe I have neglected spending as much time with The Kiddo. Here’s the positive intent: invite her to be creative with me. Truly a simple solution, but lets face it, one that many of us fail to implement because we are so consumed about what WE want and not about how we can be of service to others. Guys, this formula of happiness = positive intent + action never fails. I always somehow get exactly what I wanted in the first place out of the new scenario that included bringing positivity to someone else. Never. Fails. I have applied this to many different areas of my life (romantic, professional, financial, etc) and it works every time. Now, the problem is I do not consistently do it. At some point I choose to be selfish without any positive intent and things start to get ugly fast. Here is where words like greedy, conceited, and shallow come in. Bringing positivity to others can be whatever the situation calls for. Whether it’s visiting a friend in the hospital or offering a helping hand to a stranger or writing a helpful blog post. Those are situations that were driven by the desire to shed light on someone outside of myself. It only makes sense that I too will benefit from those actions. I am sure I will gain exactly what I wanted to!

I never used to think like this, guys! I never used to focus on my mental and spiritual well-being in this way. Oh, how I’ve changed (and FOR THE BETTER)! I’m finally snatching change and in doing so improving my life because I believe I am in control. Knowing I possess the power is empowering and when I fail to harness it positively, that’s when the sadness, depression, and anxiety can seep in. It seeps because I now have the understanding that I chose to feel that way. I chose to be in whatever situation causes fear and I chose to give in to it. The disappointment in the failure to choose control and happiness is what causes all that negative spiraling we are all guilty for. This new way of thinking has been greatly propelled by my use of medical marijuana. Yes, at some point in my life (in 2011, actually) I decided that I was going to change for the better, but the boost weed has given my growth is immeasurable. My relationships with my child, boyfriend, family, friends, and strangers have completely changed. People that have known me for years often can’t recognize me, physically AND spirtually. They are constantly shocked to know who I truly am underneath all the bullshit I put on top of myself. The change is mental/spiritual and by design, trickles in and impacts other things as a side effect. My skin is clearer than it was 6 years ago, I am healthier physically, I workout, I am more confident, and the list literally could go on and on. Hell, I have a blog now! That in it and of itself is amazing because for the past 15 years people have CONSISTENTLY told me I should write. I always technically could, but didn’t desire it. I suppressed my own talent and ignored it not realizing how much positivity it could bring to others and ultimately to myself. Somehow the universe still served it up on a platter; a platter based on my own damn menu! Ha! I just cannot get over how this works!


Even as I write this, I am amazed by the power of my own being. It’s contagious because now I want to apply this to EVERYTHING and watch what happens! Tonight we are having a sleepover for my daughter. I spent yesterday being stressed out by the thought of all that still needs to be accomplished by this afternoon. I wasted so much energy of the situations, that I ignored the fact that it will be an easy success if I choose it to be so. It’s now 6:15 and I have decided that WE all will have a blast because I want it to be awesome. Period. The Kiddo will enjoy herself and so will all of her friends because I am going to put all of my effort into making sure they do. In doing so, I KNOW we all will be happy and carefree. I am looking forward to writing the next blog post and sharing what a major success the party was. Stay tuned, guys. Things are about to be AWESOME!

Oh, and remember to be thankful and grateful for every single amazing thing in your life today. Why? Because it feels good (feels better when you’re high, though. hehe 🤗)!

The Pursuit of Higher Self



Active High Sesh: Manic Monday

Hi guys, thanks for stopping by my page! Today’s blog post (written yesterday, 10/2/17) is a short[er] post. Since we usually smoke at night (the kiddo is back home from camp, so back to our regular schedule), we had an emotional day with all the staying up to date regarding the shooting in Las Vegas and the sudden death of a family member. By the end of it all, we just wanted to chill and try to decompress our brains. I think we were purposely avoiding talking further about either tragedy and instead chatted about how little we actually smoke!

I could have sworn we were like the biggest (and newest) stoners ever! Haha! Turns out there are people out there toking up MAJORLY Monday through Sunday. Since Dean and I share our bowls, we essentially are smoking half of whatever we fill them with. Lately, we have been using a pretty small bowl on Glass Castle because I had previously mentioned to Dean that it seemed like we didn’t need to use the large bowls all the time. Our stuff is top quality shit, so I don’t think we need to smoke 10 bowls a day to get high. We get high as kites as it is, what more could we want? Anyway, let’s get into it. Menus:

Weed: Blue Dream (sativa dom) + Banana Bread (hybrid)

Food: Krispy Krunchy Chicken (they have THEEEE BEST biscuits EVER!)

Photo courtesy of Krispy Krunchy Chicken


7:13 We started smoking about 6:45ish on this grim Monday evening. Today was a tough one. It’s the morning after that tragic shooting in Vegas and in addition, the loss of a family member (unrelated occurrence). ::Sigh:: Even Dean was down today. It’s hard to believe that these horrible things happen to people. I know I should, but I just can’t get used to all the ugliness in this world. Interestingly enough, the more I smoke, the more I repel negativity. Things that are bad seem to hurt me even more deeply. My compassion level has increased x 10. I was always empathetic and compassionate, but now I am even more so. Needless to say, today shook me. 7:19

Photo credit: KUIC


7:22 So, tonight Dean mixed up an interesting combo. I had mentioned to him that I haven’t been sleeping as deeply as I have previously. I surmise it’s due to the high amounts of sativa strains I’ve been smoking lately. Anyway, we were chatting about that and that conversation reminded us that I learned something interesting from some of the weed FB groups I’m in: we don’t smoke as much as we think we do. In comparison to more seasoned smokers, we hardly smoke, despite smoking daily! A lot of the group members boasted about smoking a gram of two a day. Dean and I definitely don’t smoke that much at once; however, we are smoking top shelf, organic, premium grade. It seems to me that it makes a difference, but I haven’t actually researched it. I know that when we smoke with other people who have been smoking for years, we usually outsmoke them. I think the quality of our stash makes us need less of it to get our highs on! 7:30

7:31 About the high: my sense of smell has definitely increased. Lord, I am smelling everything! Also, my focus is kicking in hard. I am super content just typing away this blog post. Dean decided to try playing The Evil Within (you know how we love out scary games and movies). It looks like it might be pretty promising. Side note: Dean thinks it’s some type of special talent that I can type and watch him play the game at the same time. Lol! 7:37


7:38 Umm, okay. This game just got way the fuck real! How can it be that we have not played this shit before?! 7:38

7:40 Oh! I forgot to mention earlier that I may be writing a blog post about Ganja Yoga very soon. Stay tuned for that! 7:42 (I was clearly side-tracked here! took a whole two minutes to write those two sentences. Lol!)

7:47 Dean has come to the conclusion that we will need a Walkthrough for this game. Neither of us has the fuck to give to figure out all these tiny little details on our own! LBVS! 7:49

7:51 Uh oh. Somehow Dean and I landed on our favorite daily topic: racism against African people everywhere. We talk about that every single day because each and everyday we are subjected to it. SMH 7:54

Photo courtesy of


7:55 About the high now: Since Dean concocted this medley of two strains, I am now feeling the effects of the indica notes. I feel physically relaxed. The hyper-sensitivity of my senses that I earlier experienced is gone. I still have cotton mouth though (I realize I forgot to mention that in the previous “about the high”). This shit does cause some serious cotton mouth, though. Damn! Where’s the water hose?! 7:58

7:58 Okay, Dean wants me to read the Walkthrough now so I think I’ll call it a night for this Active High Sesh. If I was reminded of only one thing from the aftermath of the horrific events of yesterday, it’s to make sure to live each day emphatically and honestly: love deeply, respect completely, and live happily. Have a great day/night, folks. 8:02

Til next time,

Hardy Har

Summary Notes:

This hybrid mixture was the perfect amount of mellow to apply to Manic Monday. We both worked on our businesses, laughed, played, ate, and watched some old school 90s cartoons. I didn’t reach euphoria, which is always preferred if I am trying to work, but I was extremely relaxed and happy. I’d say the proper descriptor is “uplifted.” We felt incredibly uplifted. There was still that social buzz, but instead of feeling like the-turnt-up-duo-at-a club, we felt more like the-amazing-duo-that-hosted-a-great-dinner-among-friends. Does that make sense? Haha. Anyway, I was definitely digging this medley. Shout out to Dean for always hookin’ a sistah up!

The Pursuit of Higher Self