Smoking Is

It’s the end of a long work day and I’ve just sat down to enjoy my high. I smoked a bowl Blue Dream, one of my favorite strains. There’s something about the way it’s blended that keeps me coming back each time. This strain, a beautiful hybrid of sativa and indica, allows me to be mentally and physically productive without making me paranoid, ADD, or sleepy. No wonder it’s my personal “house” strain. If I have but only one strain in the house, it’s this one. I love it.

Photo of Blue Dream – Way of Leaf

I took advantage of the energy boost the Blue Dream provided and deep cleaned my kitchen. As I washed the dishes that had unceremoniously stacked up in my sink, my mind wandered to the topic of smoking. I asked myself why I prefer to smoke my weed versus eat it. It took me a minute to consider it, but it dawned on me that I really like the act of smoking. I don’t like smoking cigarettes, but I love to smoke marijuana.

Smoking the weed awakens my senses before I actually get “high.” I see the flame of the torch ignite the rich green bud. The way it reacts to the flame is like magic. Then there’s the earthy, pungent taste that tickles my tastebuds. The smell that lingers in the air is sharp and distinct. Seconds later, my skin tingles as the cannabinoids bind with the receptors in my brain, sparking all sorts of neuroactivity. It’s amazing.

Photo credit: K.I.N.D. Concentrates

When it comes to edibles, I don’t get the same emotional rush that I do when I smoke my cannabis. Even though I love the heavy impact an edible packs (especially the indicas), I don’t get too pumped because I know there’s a delay before the high comes. There’s no immediate payoff. It’s a gradual build-up to the high as the body metabolizes the cannabis. Don’t get me wrong, when an edible hits, it HITS! That’s why I don’t recommend edibles for newbies. Most are looking for an instant high and are disappointed when they don’t get one, so they eat more. Big mistake. HUGE.

That’s not to say you can’t get your back blown out by a good toke. Haha trust, that definitely can happen. The story of my first time smoking is totally ridiculous and all my friends were so annoyed with me! Nothing like that first time, and thank God for that. I prefer the experience I have now. You can say that I’ve…grown into my composure.

Anyway, friends, that’s all I got for now. Be well, be safe, and always pursue your higher self.

Hardy Har

Hey, ASSHOLE, Thanks a Bunch!

Hey guys! So, this is going to be a little different from my usual stuff. I need to vent a bit. Here goes:


Yesterday, someone who is very loosely acquainted with my boyfriend, and even less acquainted with me, took it upon himself to tell my boyfriend that I am not good enough for him. Yeah, you read that right −a virtual stranger fixed his mouth (or fingers to type, in this case) to tell Dean some craziness like that!

This man went on to give all these “reasons” why I am not on Dean’s level and should be left behind because, and here’s the best part, I’m holding him back! Well, I’m sure you can guess that I didn’t much appreciate that, but before I get into all the reasons why this guy is way off base, let me give you a little background.

Dean and I are REALLY dedicated to and involved with personal growth. We pretty much eat, breathe, and sleep it all day, everyday. We’re always finding ways to stay connected to that passion for progression so we, yes WE, created a FB group dedicated to personal growth. We’ve been painstakingly selective with the members added because we wanted to make sure it was a good environment for people at all different levels of personal growth.

It’s been a really good thing so far and several people have gotten a lot of value out of being able to converse and network with like-minded individuals. Yesterday, I posted in the group that I was happy to announce that I now have an accountability partner who happens to be close to Dean and is in our group. I was really happy to share that because I’m not someone who pretends to have my shit together. I KNOW I don’t and I’m not ashamed to admit I could use any and all support.


Well, little did I know, that would trigger Mr. Asshole to decide he needed to save “Dean’s life” from his wretched girlfriend. Haha. Well, please allow me to enlighten you all (and the asshole) on just how awful I really am. For Dean’s business, I am the one who wrote all the copy, from top to bottom, on his wonderful bottles for his product. Me. I wrote it in about 6 minutes because I am just AWESOME like that.

In addition to that, many of the ideas he is now using or was inspired by were mine. I was and am happy to share my intellect with him because at the end of the day, that’s my boo. His success means a great deal to me, just as mine means the same to him. It’s called fucking teamwork, yo. Heard of it, Mr. Asshole?

I don’t need to have it all figured out and neither does Dean. Hell, WHO does have it all figured out? I want to find that person because from where I’m sitting, I don’t see perfection anywhere. I admit that we are all at different levels in this game called Life, but I don’t ever think that I am BETTER (or less, for that matter) than anyone else. Where’s the value in that?

What can be gained from seeing yourself in an elevated position so long as you can look down upon others? That’s not what growth is about, people. If you’re still doing things like that, then guess what? YOU have some growing still to do. There is ALWAYS something to be learned from someone who has different struggles than your own.

Business Partners Helping Each Other
Be the hand to help, not the one to hinder.


It’s important for me to live in my truth. I try to do that every single day and I am BRUTALLY honest with myself. I don’t need to look at someone else and point out their shortcomings; I have my own to work on. I no longer look outside of myself to criticize. There are plenty of areas of opportunity right in my mirror and I welcome the challenge every single day.

To all the people who are struggling with their issues, their trauma, their depression, their rage, their fear, their conflict, and their strife, this post is dedicated to YOU! You, the reader living with these unbearable things and still choosing to continue the good fight. Please don’t let one asshole, or 20, deter you from your path of personal growth.

Allow it to feed that fire of progressiveness that burns inside you. Encourage your friends and family who may also be struggling by continuously shining brightly and bravely. Please believe me when I tell you that you are worthy of self-love and self-admiration and as soon as you start to believe that, other people will see it and be inspired by you.

I believe in you and I know you can continue on even when the pain feels like it’s burying you. Please know that it isn’t unless you allow it. You hold all the power to your destiny and no one can take that from you. Don’t let some random stranger derail you. Know your own damn worth and fight back in a positive way. There’s nothing that says FUCK YOU louder than the boisterous sound of SUCCESS and OVERCOMING!

And when all else fails, light up a blunt and start again tomorrow. You got this.

Til next time, friends.

Hardy Har

The Pursuit of Higher Self

Bad Decision/Good Lesson

Hey guys! This is going to be a pretty short blog post and, unfortunately, a sober one! 😩 I bet you’re wondering why that is. Well, in about 7.5 hours, I will be boarding a plane to return to my beloved Cuba!!! I can finally get excited about it now, but let me tell you, today was the f*cking day from HELL! Glad that fiasco is behind me now!

This will be my first time doing an international trip solo. The last time I went to Cuba, I met a friend there and we stayed together and explored side-by-side. I gotta be honest, that was also a nightmare, BUT I learned so much about myself! I mean, I was pushed to my limit in just about every way you can imagine and still managed to have a beautiful experience. ❤️

I cannot WAIT to return to this beautiful Cuban view! | Photo NOT by me.

Curious about the title? I know I would be curious if I was reading this amazingly awesome blog.😉​ Haha! So, about that title: I made an impulsive move and it resulted in my being SUPER DUPER stressed out! I mean, it got ugly and still isn’t so great, but I learned a valuable lesson. You’d think that after making the same or similar mistakes my whole life, I’d have learned the lessons before now!

Nope! Haha! No such luck here, BUT I finally I arrived to the party and told myself that I will not put myself in a risky situation that causes so much stress again. If the shoe doesn’t fit, I ain’t wearing it! Really, it doesn’t make any sense to make moves in life that cause so much personal mayhem. Why bother? After all, I’m [and YOU] the only who will clean up the messes. Why make life harder?

My advice to myself, and you again, is to LEARN and move on! It’s life. Shit happens and it isn’t all bad or good and it’s always caused by our own decision making. Whatever you’ve done that turned out to be a big slap in the face, I hope you learned from it. I hope you took whatever lesson was there for you, added it to your list of “Well, I’m never doing that again” and forged ahead!

Or  “big BOY undies.” Whichever works! 🙃

Keep your head up guys! You’re human and sometimes it takes 20 years of making the same redundant mistakes over and over before we realize, “Ah! This doesn’t give me what I want. Time to change it up!” There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that! It’s what you’re supposed to be doing and frankly, if you think you have it all figured out, I’d bet you a billion bucks you don’t!

Get off your high horse and cut yourself some slack. Your higher self already has and is ready to move the hell on. Please oblige and get to it already! You’re not alone in your pursuit of higher self! We all struggle and do things we regret. Do those things have to be unforgivable acts? Nope, so don’t try to make them. Forgive and [DON’T] forget!

Alright guys, as promised, this was short and sweet. It was more an act of consistency on my part. I told myself, and all of you, last week that I would be consistent. 2018 is the year of DOING WHAT THE F*CK I SAY I WILL! And alas, I pushed out some content to meet my goal. Sounds like a win to me! Thanks for reading, friends. Wish me luck on this crazy trip! 😙

Til next time,

Hardy HarThe Pursuit of Higher Self

Hello 2018: It’s Time to Up the Ante

The only option I have is to succeed in whatever I set out to do.

Happy New Year, my wonderful weed-loving friends and supporters! I hope the end of 2017 rounded out merrily for you and yours and that the intro to 2018 has been off to a magical start!

You may have noticed that I’ve been a bit MIA. What began as a holiday hiatus, quickly segued into a holiday, death-inducing flu recovery. Ya’ll, I have never in my life had a flu like this monster! If you’ve been subjected to the horror that is this season’s nasty influenza nightmare, you deserve a f*cking MEDAL! This thing right here is NO JOKE!

It’s begins like a thief in the night. Not a single problem, symptom, or warning. Then suddenly BAM! You’re knocking on death’s door for 10 miserable days! This illness took out my whole household and then some! Almost everyone in my immediate family has gotten sick with this, except my stepfather and my sister…so far.


Anyway, I said all that to say that I spent my NYE trying not to perish in my bed from this horrible virus. However, I gotta say that despite all the illness, 2018 is already off to a great start! There have been a couple of things that previously would have had me backpedaling into a semi-negative perception, but not this time!

I accepted all the shortcomings, fails, poor decisions, and missed opportunities of 2017. I chalked it up to “Ok, all that happened, so what’s next?” and decided to keep it moving. I know I put some positive ideas in motion to help me solve some of the problems I created towards the end of the year. Thankfully, I’m starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel (FINALLY).

That light brings with it many blessings, but the one that I’m most interested in is “drive.” Yeah, that little five letter word has really given me pause. You see, I’m now 32 years old and I can admit that I’ve spent my life lacking drive and ambition. I was pretty complacent with my life for many years. I had tons of ideas, but no real desire to do anything with them.

No sense crying over spilled milk. It’s on to the next!


But thanks to all the hard [READ painful] work I put into my personal growth last year, I’m proud to report that drive has taken root inside me and I feel it’s quiet buzz and hum under my skin, coursing through my veins. I hear it in the conversations I have with people and I see it in my thoughts.

The realization that I’ve actually committed to something for the long haul, and not my usual temporary distraction, has empowered me! It’s what has kept me focused in my mind while my body has been shutting down. It’s kept me networking and creating valuable connections with people I otherwise may not have engaged with.

It has kept me from getting discouraged and wanting to throw in the towel. It’s what pushes me to write and contemplate new topics. You guys, I can’t stress enough how happy I am about this change within myself! It’s liberating and exciting! I’m driven to see my vision come to fruition and I’m so proud of that. About f*cking time! Haha!


So, what now? Well, it’s time to up the ante! There were a number of important items on my To Do list that, *surprise*, didn’t get done. I’m so tired of them being incomplete and decided that they will get done by then end of February. Those things include finally launching my new site, uploading my first Podcast episodes (two episodes already recorded), having my logo and cards created, and giving hard energy to my ganja yoga project with my friend.

In the past, maybe all of that would have seemed overwhelming, but now I know I’ll complete those tasks by the deadline (hopefully ahead of schedule). The only option I have is to succeed in whatever I set out to do. I can honestly say, I didn’t feel that way about my blog before. I was doing some of necessary activities and it certainly was important to me, but I still kept thinking of “outs.”

I was the queen of multiple plan Bs. People who know me personally can attest to that. In theory it seems like a good idea to have “options,” but take a it from a person whose life was built on that. It’s hell. Pure mayhem! It created conflict where it never would have been. Everything was a distraction or could potentially be.

No more options. Time to pick a side and stay there!

And that same principle is what was happening in my mind about the blog. I kept telling myself, “Hey, if this doesn’t work out, you have all these other talents.” Now, it’s not incorrect. I do have other talents, but so what? If I never pick one, what am I truly accomplished at? A whole lotta nada!

But, somehow, while I wasn’t looking, this became the only thing I want to do. I accept that I prefer to communicate by writing and it feels natural. I like it and I want to keep doing it. So that’s it. I don’t have another option because I choose not to. And just like that, a girl is driven. Haha Dope AF. 😎

Dean always tells me, and has been since we met, “I don’t know what you can’t do. I know that when you focus on something, you can max that sh*t out!” I used to be a little baffled by that comment. I never could quite get what he meant. To me it seemed very obvious what I couldn’t do. Tsk tsk. How incredibly shortsighted of me.

Now that I know better, I’m excited to prove my old self wrong. I’m ready to show myself that I can do what in the entire, flying fuck I want. And what I want is to win.

See you next week, guys. As always, thanks for reading.

Hardy Har The Pursuit of Higher Self


Let Growth Flourish

Growth. That word is so exciting to see and even better to experience. When people see the word, they immediately correlate it with abundance. Most of us want to grow our family, money, and physical health. Those are all important, but I also want to squeeze in there mental health.

To me, everything begins and ends there. Ultimately, that’s why I started smoking weed. I got to the point where I was comfortable giving it a try to help me control my anxiety. I had no clue it would allow me to learn about who I am.

Delectable strain of the evening. | Photo credit:

I’ve learned so much about my strengths and I’ve learned even more from my weaknesses. I was able to ask myself the question “why am I anxious in this situation?” I knew there was a root to the anxiety, but I didn’t know what. Eventually, I began to ferret out the roots to various problems, thus beginning my transformation.

But, like all things in this life, it must be learned and practiced. I have so many days during which I feel completely overwhelmed. Sometimes throwing up my hands seems like a really good idea in the moment, but I’ve learned that way of thinking is only a learned and practiced behavior. I can always learn and/or implement something better.

Growing isn’t always easy or pretty, but it’s always worth it in the end.

That’s where I am now. I’m actively learning and practicing new skills daily. My sole desire is to be able to give the perfect amount of my energy to exactly the right subject. I don’t want to be conflicted about things that shouldn’t even matter to me. I want to be assured and confident in all decisions.

With goals like that, I know I’m going to need some help from people who harness the skills I need development with. So, I’ve decided I want a life coach. Yeah, I’ve totally become one of those people who actually wants a life coach. LBVS. Obtaining a life coach is the next like a suped up mentor. Here’s my rationale…

Photo credit:

If I had someone whose entire purpose during our interactions was to help me implement changes permanently, I’d get a turbo boost for this transformation journey. I feel the same way about mental/emotional counseling. A patient pays for a professional’s time and education to help sort out his/her sh*t. The same perspective can be applied to the assistance of a life coach.

If any of my lovely readers know a life coach reasonably priced in Los Angeles, don’t be stingy! Sharing is caring, friends, so please slide into my DM (aka the contact page found here) with the deets. 😘 Have you ever used a life coach or considered doing so? Let me know in the comments below.


In addition to the life coach decision, I’m also in the process of adding new people to my circle of friends. I really need the extra boost having purposeful relationships can provide. That’s not to say that my existing circle isn’t purposeful, but as I change, so do my activities and opinions. It’s time to add some new blood to the mix.

Dean told me earlier this week that since he values his energy and space, he’s extremely selective about who gets an invitation into his life. At first, that didn’t make a ton of sense to me because I’m such a social butterfly, but the more I think about this with my new perspective, the more sense his logic makes!


So, that’s what’s happening in my mind/world this week. Lots of self-reflection within all my various roles (mother, daughter, girlfriend, etc.) underway and I have to say that I’m really happy to do so. It’s been a long time coming and it feels good to grow. I hope you’re growing, too. As always, thanks for the read. ♥

Til next time,

Hardy Har

The Pursuit of Higher Self








Hey guys and welcome back to my blog! I hope you know how much I appreciate the visit.

Today’s post is a short and sweet one. Actually, I have noticed that most of the Activeps_1219_high_kite High Sesh posts are shorter. Makes sense being that I’m high as a kite while I’m writing AHSs.

Anyway, this one is the first post I’ve written that features a #killercombo. I think this is something I will do once a week with AHSs going forward. Since Dean loves making super awesome combinations for us to indulge in, I thought it would be cool to give them a write-up for some of my fellow Cannalovers to try out.

As always, tread carefully with these combos. We smoke a lot of heavy-hitting sativas and ALL of our strains are premium quality so the highs can be much more impacting. If smoking is newish to you, please don’t try to blow your top off with the combos I mention. There are levels to this shit. Take each one and build up your tolerance. Haha! Now, let’s get into it!

6:20 Dean and I started working out about 5:30 and he decided to make a #killercombo workout mix for us this evening and the shit BLEW ME AWAY! And since it did, I decided to call this combo Blown Away. Guys, it’s so damn good. Here’s what’s all mixed in:

Layer 1. Charge 504 (sativa)

Layer 2. Super Lemon Haze Concentrate (sativa dominant hybrid)

Layer 3. Durban Poison (sativa)

Layer 4: Super Lemon Haze Concentrate

Layer 5: Super Jack (hybrid)

Look at all the lush kush.


Okay, so I know you’re probably thinking, “these MFs might not make it” based on that crazy mixture of premium Cali kush, but on the contrary my friends, we are thriving! This combination completely transformed my already intense workouts. I mean, I was EXTRA with it tonight! We worked out intensely just under an hour.

Back in the day, I would have cringed to workout for even 20 minutes and now suddenly I’m enjoying an hour long sweat fest?! Seriously, who the. hell. am. I? Lol! I am so elated that I’ve gotten to the point that something that I loathed before has become something I  now love. Such a breath of fresh air.

About the high: Alright, so I think you get the drift that this sh*t is an energy turbo boost, BUT what I also want you to know is that about an hour into that turbo boost (with intense workout), the high will mellow into an energetic focused high, et voila! That’s how I’m able to write this post free of pesky energy shakes and hyperactivity! Thanks to the super awesome Super Lemon Haze coming through with it’s happy energy and easy focus, the high never turns into a sativa overload. It also helped that we worked out like maniacs. 6:43

BLOWN AWAY had me feeling like this guy.

7:05 Wow. Didn’t think 20 minutes passed already! Lol Well, I can’t say I expected this high to allow me to be ultra focused, but it does allow for a decent amount of productivity time. I can’t help with homework right now, but I would be super fun playing a game or having a dance sesh with the Kiddo. She’ll be home soon so I’ll be able to wear her out with some silliness before she heads to bed. 7:07


7:08 I’m feeling a major energy boost which means I am going to take a hiatus and workout for a bit until it’s dancing time. 7:09

7:21 LMAO I literally sat right here grooving to this Eve song Dean is playing! 😂 Let me try that again. Haha. 7:21

kb8:14 Back! One of the things I meant to note earlier about my working out is that I almost NEVER workout in my actual, over-priced, extra tight workout clothes anymore. I will literally start doing weight reps and cardio workouts in whatever I’m wearing at the moment. I even do it in pajamas; in fact, I busted mad moves with the kettlebell in my nightgown tonight. 😂 Lol! I don’t let anything stop me from working out. If it’s on my task list (which it is), it’s getting done. Laundry day? No problem! Get it in in your underwear! Lol. It’s actually pretty fun. 😉 Haha! 8:27

8:59 I think I’m going to wrap this little post up for the night. I just smoked ANOTHER combo called #DAINTY and it’s an indica dominant hybrid combo so I want to try some meditation. My energy has been a little twacked this week. Time to find the center…or try to. 9:01

Til next time,

Hardy Har

The Pursuit of Higher Self




Setback or Come-Up?

Menu: Lamb’s Bread/Breath + Pink Lemonade + Green Goddess

Eats: Taco Bell + Southern Girl Desserts (yummmmm)


8:45 Hey guys, thanks for coming back! I get supremely gleeful when people donate their time to read my musings. #WarmNFuzzy

Today has been an interesting day. I awoke with a sunny disposition that would rival any of our best SoCal sunny days, but somewhere during the course of the day, a funk began to settle in. By the early evening, I had a serious case of the Mondays.

My sentiments exactly!


Next thing I knew, I was second-guessing all of my progress and just being a general b*tch to myself. The good news is I made sure to not negatively impact someone else’s day. The bad news is my bad mood felt more like a setback!

Yeah, I said it. I had a setback and guess what: I’M HUMAN and so are you! We are all entitled to make mistakes or be in a bitchy mood. That’s apart of the experience and those moments are necessary in order to appreciate the other side of the coin. In other words: appreciate the sh*t just as much as the glitter.

So, how did I get myself out of that funk? I had help from my mentor. Yup, remember step 3 from my last blog post (click ➡ here ⬅ in case you missed it)? Well, I am all about putting my own advice to use, so I leaned pretty hard on my mentor/boyfriend, Dean.

And just to keep the theme of following step 3 going, Dean did an exercise with me that his mentor did with him! Love it!! Anyway, the task was to create a table comprised of three columns and 15 rows. Above each column, I wrote the headers Skills, Behaviors, and Need to Learn. See my example below.


I’m sure you can see where this is going. I filled out the chart under each header and *spoiler alert* it was really hard for me to come up with my skills! Keep in mind that “skills” can be pretty much anything. I had difficulty identifying my skills because I would judge the skill as irrelevant.  In doing so, I inadvertently learned a lesson about my confidence and the areas for improvement there. #Twofer! Ultimately,  writing and networking were added to the list.

The next column I filled out was the “behaviors” section. Here is where I listed my actual behaviors. If you are doing this exercise, please keep your mind open, just like I advised above. Don’t think of things as “good” or “bad.” Here’s an example of my second column. And yes, I really did write “laziness” down. Part of the growth journey is being honest with myself, even when the truth isn’t favorable.

Writing Chatting on social media
Networking Laziness

By now, you know what I did next. Yep, filled out the last column. This section was the easiest one for me to complete. There is a TON of information I need to learn so I literally just picked the most important 15!

Writing Chatting on social media Stronger parenting skills
Networking Laziness Time management

By this point in the exercise, my crappy mood was beginning to dissipate. Of course it didn’t hurt that I toked a bit on some that good-good Lamb’s Bread concoction to speed the process along. hehe! Next, Dean told me to write down all the behaviors I didn’t want on a separate space of my paper. For this example, there’s only one undesirable behavior and that’s “laziness.” What? Social media is my bread and butter. No way I can stop being a virtual social butterfly! 😇


For the last step of this exercise, I decided to put my own twist on it. I picked one item from each column and formed an affirmation. That affirmation will be the focus of the day for me tomorrow. Here’s how my affirmation came out: “I am an active writer who gets her tasks completed.” I swapped out “laziness” for “active” because lazy is NOT something I want to be!From there, it’s all about putting my affirmation to work for me. I decided to make a daily task list to help me with my time management and productivity. So, we shall see how it goes tomorrow! I am really excited and I am in a much better space mentally, emotionally, and spiritually than I was at the beginning of the activity. And for sh*ts and giggles, I decided to turn it into a blog post. How’s that for productive? 😋



I wrote the above post on 12/4/17, but am behind with posting it; however, I wanted to give a summary of how the day went based on my activity.

I woke up with a plan and I stuck to it. I told myself that I was going to put my affirmation into practice and I did. That singular thought set my entire day into a positive direction, but if I’m keepin’ it real, what I did wasn’t a profound act of humanity. It’s something millions, even billions of people do every single day, but for some of us, getting ourselves on the right path is a lot harder for one reason or another.


For me, one of those reasons is I’m a sexual assault survivor. Living with a secret like that would make anyone veer off the road a bit, but the good news is that I decided 6 years ago that my life was going to be different. The best news is that it IS different and my light is finally shining! Corny, but so ridiculously true and I love it!

Each moment that passes brings with it a chance to break the cycle. I finally snatched my chance. I broke my cycle and I will continue breaking it over and over and over again until I finally am Higher Self. It’s only up from here, with my trusty side kick, Mary Jane, of course. 😉 😤  Needless to say, the minor setback I had on Monday, became a great teaching moment for me. It’s safe to say I had a MAJOR come-up! #Winning!

Til next time, friends.

Hardy Har  

The Pursuit of Higher Self

5 Ways to Begin Transforming Your Life


Mango Cookies (hybrid)

Photo Courtesy of Pearl Pharma

Hey guys! Welcome back to my little blog.

Because this post is less about the weed and more about the 5 steps, I don’t talk about cannabis at all; however, I’d like to give a brief note about the high:

Can I just say how much I LOVE any Cookies strain? Cookies strains, aka Girl Scout Cookies, are sativa dominant and always bring that fun, energetic high I love so much. The Mango part of the combo sweeps through with that lovable relaxation and focus thanks, to its indica notes. This combination allowed me to write this thoughtful post AND do a long and challenging workout. I would write a little and stop to work out. This went on for what seemed like hours! The energy boost I got was super needed, but it wasn’t so over the top that I couldn’t be reflective and focused. This is a marvelous strain and I recommend you give it a shot if you can find it where you are. Now, on to the post!


Photo courtesy of SD Times

Today my mind has been going in 10387834 directions all at once, but one topic that keeps cycling through is that of change. Now, I speak (and write) about change quite a bit lately, but this one is a little different to me.

For the past few weeks, several people have come out the woodwork to say variations of the same exclamation that sounds something like, “Hey, you’ve changed SO much! How did you do it?” And each time someone says that to me, I experience two thoughts: 1. you’re seeking MY advice? and 2. I haven’t changed, but am always in the process of changing.

The first thought is just silly self-doubt popping up to say hello. It can’t be anything more than that because why would it be? People are only going to seek information from a source they trust has the answer. So, in their eyes, I must have it all figured out, right? Not exactly, BUT I am willing and able to share my truths. If someone finds value in those truths, who am I to deny them access to information? This brings me to point numero dos!



I am so thrilled my changes have become apparent through the eyes of others, but in my way of thinking, I still have many more changes to perform and many lessons to learn. There is always room for growth. Never again do I want to become as I was: complacent and stuck. I much prefer the revolving doors of change.

There was a time in my life (not all that long ago) during which I lived fully in the Land of Complacency. I was stuck and bored and clueless to it all. Now I have friends and family seeking my advice. Guys, that shit still boggles my mind! So, with that in mind, I thought it would be fun to write a How To post regarding the topic of personal transformation.

The five “steps” below are the exact steps I have taken to begin transforming my life, but not necessarily in this order. Though the steps are numbered, you can arrange them however you see fit. Remember, everything I write is based on my experiences. Your life experiences will certainly differ from mine, but I think this could be a helpful starting point for creating your own way to transformation.


1. Accept your shortcomings.

Easier said than done, right? Yeah, I know it seems that way, but it truly isn’t hard. The act of actually admitting and accepting your faults really is quite simple. What is challenging, and frankly, downright miserable is facing all the feelings about those shortcomings. For example, I needed to finally accept my own hand in the course my life has taken, for not only the good, but the bad, too. I didn’t like how it felt to admit that I made a bad decision that yielded a negative consequence, but once I finally allowed myself to feel the disappointment, I was able to grow from it. The same can happen for you.

2. Get to know your true self.

I cannot stress enough how important it is to realize you DO NOT KNOW IT ALL! Yes, I know for some of us that is tough one, but let’s face it: many of us have no idea who the hell we really are! In not knowing who we are, we are vastly unaware of how we impact our own lives and the lives of others with our ignorance of self. Question your likes and dislikes. Believe it or not, but you’ve been molded by your parents, society, religion, and social norms. It’s okay to admit you still have some learning to do. I assure you, when you start thinking in this way, you’ve already completed a change!

Take up a quiet hobby like writing. You don’t have to be James Baldwin when you put pen to paper, so don’t feel discouraged if you don’t deem yourself a “writer.” Writing is a great way to be self-reflective. Keeping a journal would be effective in learning about yourself. Write about your day in immense detail; focus on the interactions with people you had, and then read it again. Chances are you will find something helpful in your notes to propel your journey ahead. Make sure to notate the questions you may ask yourself. Having more questions than answers is a huge sign of progress! Give it a go and see where it takes you.


Mentor word cloud


3. Find a mentor!

Dean recommended this to me and I thanked him tremendously for the idea! He doesn’t know it, but he has been my mentor these last almost 6 years. He had information I needed, but couldn’t quite understand. His patience, kindness, and tough-love approach eventually began to take root and grow.

For you, finding someone to light the path is absolutely necessary. You want someone who clearly possesses experience and knowledge you don’t have. These people are usually very successful in business, relationships, parenting, and finances. They are full of helpful advice and offer a fresh perspective.

4. Upgrade your social circle!!!!

Yo, this step is SO necessary, but it’s a doozy! If you’re trying to improve your life, but your circle of friends are stuck in the loop of never going anywhere meaningful, then guess what: it’s time to move the hell on! Just like you are what you eat, you are also the company you keep! Similarly to finding a mentor, you want to seek friendships from people who have information you don’t. Maybe they are young entrepreneurs and have the drive and stamina to motivate a small country. Or maybe they are community volunteers/leaders or even stay-at-home moms. Whoever these positive light-shining people are, find them. Chances are, you know someone who fits this bill already. Believe me when I tell you like attracts like. If your friends are garbage, so is everything they touch. Don’t be garbage. Be golden!



5. Be loving to yourself.

This is, in my opinion, the most important step. Loving yourself can be done in a variety of ways. It can be from personal grooming like haircuts, manis and pedis, or working out to indulging in a favorite activity such as singing, reading, or writing. Whatever you choose to do, be mindful of the purpose: self-love and self-care. Whatever you uncover about yourself during your “me-time,” remember to affirm OUT LOUD your love for yourself. Everything begins and ends with you in that beautiful life of yours!


As usual, I truly hope you were able to find some value in this post. It felt really good to write and it feels even better when people find my pieces helpful or inspiring. Thank you for reading and please give this post a share to anyone you know that might need a boost in a new direction.

Til next time,

Hardy Har

The Pursuit of Higher Self

Active High Sesh: Affirming Positive Change


Hey guys! Welcome back to my stoner corner of the internet. I am so thrilled you stopped by! 

I bet you can guess what today’s post is about. I’ll give you a hint: the title says it all! If you guessed affirmations, change, and POSITIVITY, then you guessed correctly! Sorry, I’m all out of prizes, but hey, at least you get to read the amazing prose I laid down for you. Ha. 

Before I let you get to the post, I want to discuss the amazing menu. I didn’t mention anything about the high in the post so I want to make sure I highlight that information. After all, this is a cannabis lifestyle blog! 

So, this combo was sooooooo damn amazing that I really want to smoke it again tonight! It is just ridiculously awesome! It’s a hybrid combo, but it is predominantly indica based and it packs a major punch! That punch consists of deep, deep thinking (I personally love that), extreme focus (like, laser-focused), with a little social buzz thrown in. Oh! And how could I forget about the crazy, amazing, delicious, sexy time flare Wet Dream brought to the party. What can I say? This combo is the perfect trifecta! 





King Louis + Wet Dream (absolutely f*cking amazing mix)

9: 51 Affirmations. That seems to be the theme of this dwindling day of mine. The fact that I am even writing anything about affirmations at all is a blaring sign of just how much I have changed. Wow. Sometimes I need to take a moment and appreciate my growth.

Anyway, as I was saying: I’ve been thinking a lot about affirmations lately. I have even gone so far as to actually start doing them on my own and with The Kiddo. It occurred to me that we didn’t do our affirmations today. I used to think that whether doing affirmations or not, it would have no impact on my day. I believed that, even to the smallest degree, up until today when I realized I noticed the absence of my self-love.


Isn’t that something? To me it is everything! I could tell a difference in my overall perspective of my day. I felt very lazy mentally. I couldn’t quite get motivated to go above and beyond. I felt myself slipping into complacency, the complete opposite direction of where I’m trying to go. Complacency is a place I’ve been before, where I dwelled and built a life. I now seek a new experience.

Needless to say, I mentally said a few affirmations this evening. I needed to reign in that negative energy and replace it with the ease of positivity. I have to admit, it felt good. Got me to thinking, “Hey, why didn’t I do this earlier?” It really is such a simple thing, but it effectively reminded me to tap into my Higher Self.

It’s the implementation of a thought process. One that is free of negative constraints. Try it and see for yourself! Before you know it, you’re wearing locs in your hair, smoking weed, and writing a blog about affirming yourself. Ha! See what I mean about the change I mentioned earlier? The woman I am today wasn’t even a possibility for the woman I was a year ago.


Even though I have been on the path to Higher Self since 2011, I can honestly say that I have learned more since my stoner birthday in Feb 2017 than I have up until that point. The speed of change and enlightenment within/of myself has helped me blossom rapidly. As I just pointed out, I am almost unrecognizable as a person.

Every time someone points it out to me, I can’t help but laugh. I truly am the happiest I have been in my life, even through situations that have been very, very challenging. Some days are better than others and some days are positively great, but at the end of each one, I am happy still. I’m learning and practicing to begin and end each day by choosing to be happy.

I want to choose levity, not gravity –and I’m not only referring to getting stoned, though that is a valid point 😆. I’m saying I want to choose to tell myself everyday that I am awesome and good so that I can deliver my light to other people. If I am always down in the dumps, how much positivity is present? Not much. That means that I am then causing negative impacts to other people. 10:01


10:02 A couple of hours ago, we started watching Lisa Nichols interviews on YouTube and she spoke very firmly about affirming herself daily and rigorously. Ironic? I don’t think so. Affirmations were on my mind and the universe gave me exactly what I wanted. I only had to think it and Bam! Just like that, I watched something that prompted me to do what I already knew I should have done.

I digress. She said that she affirmed herself  7 times a day with variations of 3 core sentences:

  1. “I Am Proud That You…”
  2. “I Forgive You (for)…”
  3. “I Commit to You…”

Each time I heard her say it again, it became more inspiring. Needless to say, by the end of the last video, I was affirming myself. And because I affirmed myself, I decided to write because I knew I wanted to do so. I made a choice to not let myself down.

I don’t know if you buy into all of these things that I’m saying, but my one hope is that some seemingly random person will read this and be inspired to make him/herself happy. If that person is you, please know that there’s at least one other person ( me 🤗) who believes you have the power to change your life and you CAN do it! You can. YOU CAN! 10:31

Til Next Time,

Hardy HarThe Pursuit of Higher Self

Active High Sesh: Big Mouth, Bigger High

Hey tokers! Welcome back to my page. This blog post was actually written October 24, 2017, but for whatever reason, I never posted it. I am here to remedy that right now! 

On this night, Dean had the brilliant idea to make a super hybrid! It’s always exciting to try new mixes. I’ve smoked and documented these individual strains before so it was interesting to me to try them all at once. This is probably one of my favorite combos. 

It was relaxing and social, but the indica notes present in the combo provided that focus I am addicted to. Granted, there were plenty of times I got distracted, I can say that I was still able to get quite a bit accomplished that night. 

Anyway, I hope you enjoy the read and visit me again soon! 



Menu: Jack Herrer (sativa) + Blue Dream (hybrid) + Platinum Dutch Treat (hybrid)

Food: Some delicious fajita style chicken and veggies sans the tortilla and Cascadian Farm Honey Oat granola cereal. Lol Random as f*ck!

7:41 We started smoking about 45 mins (I think) ago, but I didn’t start taking notes until now. So, Dean and I have been watching this show called Big Mouth on Netflix. Guys, let me tell you something: I have NEVER laughed so hard at a show! It’s one of those animated adult cartoons like South Park, but WAY funnier! I mean, this shit is 100% relatable AND it tackles major stereotypes and social problems by making you think and laugh hilariously! Just watch it because my description is not doing it justice! 7:46

7:48 Earlier, I asked 20 other cannabis users which of them smoked for depression/anxiety. Only two female smokers responded and they both had similar experiences to mine: anxiety and/or depression prone, but functional. The first half of the day, I was chipper, excited, and motivated. By the second half of the day, I began to feel down in the dumps. Guys, this rollercoaster of despair only ever occurs when I am on my period!! I had PMS prior to Feb 2017, but since I started smoking weed, I feel like I have the WORST PMS ever and it lasts the whole period and not just the beginning like before!! Sorry for the TMI, but for the female smokers out there, maybe you’ll understand what I’m saying. I feel like I need to smoke more than my usual amount to compensate for the PMS, otherwise I crash. It’s crazy. Has anyone else felt this way? 7:54

Yeah…this pretty much sums it up!

7:56 Dean and I are talking about what we think is happening when my emotions get like this. He said, when we first met, my regular demeanor was at a baseline of negativity. Meaning, feeling down was normal, so I could function very well there. When I started progressing and making small changes (those turned into bigger changes) in my life, my baseline became more positive, meaning feeling HAPPY became the norm. So, when my hormones come in and shit on my life (thanks Mother Nature), it drags me back to that negative space and I can’t handle it! That’s the rollercoaster! It totally makes sense now why it hits me so hard. Being a Debbit Downer simply isn’t normal to me anymore. I have moved passed that, even prior to smoking weed in February. The difference is that I feel freer in general. I hope this makes sense to you. We could be way off base, but that seems to make so much sense right now. It describes exactly what I am experiencing. 8:04

8:11 We just hit a dead zone in our exciting conversation. Lol. We were so hyped up about our business ideas and then we just went back to working: me with the blog post, him with his business Instagram page. Ya’ll, he for real started the day with 500 followers. It is 8:12 pm on the same day and he now just reached 17k (Now over 40k)!!!!!!!!!!!!! We are freaking out! He even has his own trending hashtag!!! So damn exciting! Now I need to implement what he did on my shit and watch this blog take off! ::kicks self in ass:: lol! 8:15

Ha! Me trying to focus when I am high.

8:21 About the high: Well, this is some type of homemade hybrid again (we have the habit of getting locked into a pattern of the same thing) featuring Jack Herrer + Bluedream + Dutch Platinum. It’s got that harsh, vampire thirst throat burn that I absolutely loathe! I always know when we are smoking JH because it is such a harsh inhale to me. The motherfucker will get you high, but it’ll burn your throat out in the process! Anyway, this combo is one hell of a cocktail! I feel so much better than I did before, but mellow at the same time. Euphoria isn’t present, but I don’t even care because the high is so uplifting! Really good combo! I bet I will sleep like I’m in a coma. Haha! Love those deep sleeps! 8:25

8:29 We’re back to watching Big Mouth and it just refuses to disappoint! The jokes are just soooooo inappropriate and hilarious! This is the perfect high-sesh-thing to watch! As it is, I could barely finish this note because I was laughing so hard. If you’re sensitive, don’t watch it. If you’re open minded and/or high, go for it!! You won’t regret it! 8:36


9:20 Wow, I can’t believe it’s been almost two hours! We finished all of Big Mouth and were so sad that we couldn’t continue to watch the show that we started it over from the beginning! This first episode is the funniest thing I have ever seen! Lmao! It is ridiculously funny! (In case you didn’t notice, I am totally BAKED right now!) 9:22

9:24 Dean went to make himself some tacos and I sorta accidentally smoked like 90% of what was left in the bowl! LMAO! I literally started stifle-laughing so he wouldn’t hear me! He’s gonna be in for an unhappy surprise when he comes back! 😂​ Actually, there’s a chance that he may be too baked to even notice. We shall see. 9:27

9:35 He noticed. 😂😂😂​ Refill time, please! 9:35

9:46 This show…OMG please watch it! So, it’s been two hours since I started typing this. Feels like it’s been about an hour. I can’t get over the weird thing that happens to time when you’re inebriated by whatever preferred substance (i.e. alcohol, mushrooms, etc.). What is it about time when we are high? I need to look that shit up and read someone else’s thoughts about it. Haha. Anyway, I am going to call it quits for the night. It’s been 2 hours and a thousand words later, cheerio, dahlings!

Til next time,

Hardy Har

The Pursuit of Higher Self