SINGLE PARENTING SUCKS. Yeah, I Said It!

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WEED: Pink Lemonade + Jack Herer


Listen, being a single parent SUCKS sometimes and anyone who tells you differently is a damn liar! There, I said it! ::hides under desk [just kidding. what desk?😂]:: Now that I’ve got that little bit out the way, please allow me to elaborate before you cyber-stone me. Haha.

The operative word in the ranty sentence is sometimes. Parenting is many things and in addition to being occasional suckiness, it’s also rewarding, loving, funny, fun, exciting, and scary. We’re human and that means we have human experiences, so why wouldn’t parenting reflect that logic? It’s never all rainbows and sunshine in life and one shouldn’t expect any role or experience to be either.

And yet, somehow I imagined that it would be smooth as a baby’s bottom. I truly don’t know how I could have been so silly as to think that, but I guess what they say is true in that you never really know until you walk a day in another pair of shoes (I paraphrased, haha). I imagined that I’d be one of those idyllic moms who bakes, sews Halloween costumes, and is head of the PTA.

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HA! While there are many such mothers out there, I certainly am not one of them! Yes, in one way or another, I’ve done all of those things or something related to it, but I’m no Betty Homemaker. Life turned out to be much different than my young and excited musings. When I had my daughter, I was going through a long, scary, painful divorce; I worked full-time; and I was in my early 20s.

I never imagined I’d be going at it alone (I use alone in reference to being a single parent. it took a village with this Kiddo) and yet there I was faced with it. So, that meant more pressure on one person rather than two. Of course the bond with my child suffered because I simply didn’t have the luxury of being as present as I would like to have been.

Any single parent out there reading this knows exactly what I’m talking about. It’s the missed school performances to the late after-school pickups to the rushed dinner/homework time. It sucks. That’s the part that really and truly makes parenting so tough, in my opinion. Knowing that you should be present, and WANTING to be, but having to choose not to.

I can’t tell you how many times I chose work over presence. And to be clear, I believe it is a choice between going to work or staying with your kid. It’s not a choice we actively want to make, but it’s one we have made nonetheless. So, I chose to go to work because I knew if I didn’t go, things would likely decline rather than improve. To avoid that, I had to lean heavily on my parents to help me raise her.

It also meant knowing I may not be able to be as close to her as I should be without really working hard to strengthen our bond. Finally now, ten years later, I’m able to really put in the work to do that. The past several months have been focused on my parenting behaviors and I’m seeing the differences in a very rewarding way!

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That last line deserved a dancing gif. 😁

For all those parents out there who feel like they suck and that they made a thousand mistakes, I say this to you: yeah, you probably did fuck up, BUT you can always fix it! That may mean a different type of relationship, but it doesn’t have to be any less valuable. For me, I knew I needed more time to be the best mom I could. I needed time to get my own head right so I could start being who she needs me to be.

So, I quit my job. Not only was it a racist, shithole of a place (good pay though, haha), but I was absolutely miserable there. One day I came home, and The Kiddo said, “Mom, you’re like a zombie.” I quit that fucking place shortly after she said that and I’ve never looked back. Hearing my kid tell me how much of myself was missing, meant one thing to me: she was missing out, too.

Thankfully, I was in a position where I could do that. I know quitting isn’t an option everyone has. Lord knows it has NOT been easy by any stretch of the imagination, BUT I needed to do what I thought was best for my situation. MANY great things have spawned from that decision that otherwise would never have happened. One of those things is that my daughter is closer to me than ever before.

I can attend almost all of her performances; go to parent-teacher conferences without rushing or doing it over the phone; I can even volunteer for events. Now, I’m DEFINITELY still not that perfect mom. I still work, but only part-time and now I have entrepreneurial projects I work on; however, I can pick her up from school myself right when the bell rings. She can eat dinner without rushing and we can work on her homework without either of us wanting to scream. Lol!

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Those seemingly insignificant things that many people might take for granted are huge to us. My work schedule never allowed for much of that availability before. This newfound freedom to experience her childhood in a very present way is such a major reward. I’m definitely basking in the glow of appreciation right now. 🙏🏽

Lately, I’ve been trying to work on her confidence and our communication, so we started a mother-daughter blog. We write a recap of our days and focus on our interactions throughout the day. While it’s a private blog, it is multi-functional. It helps develop her own writing skills (uh, mom is a writer, OF COURSE she needs to be excellent at that); it encourages her to be mindful (she has to be very descriptive); and it allows both of us to be open with each other; and it teaches her about blogging. WIN!
So, in closing, yes, parenting can be Sucky McTastic, BUT, it’s also all the good things in the world. Don’t beat yourself up for acknowledging the shitty aspects; just find a way to make them more fun and less shitty.
Til next time, my friend.
Hardy Har
The Pursuit of Higher Self
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Hey, ASSHOLE, Thanks a Bunch!

Hey guys! So, this is going to be a little different from my usual stuff. I need to vent a bit. Here goes:

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Yesterday, someone who is very loosely acquainted with my boyfriend, and even less acquainted with me, took it upon himself to tell my boyfriend that I am not good enough for him. Yeah, you read that right −a virtual stranger fixed his mouth (or fingers to type, in this case) to tell Dean some craziness like that!

This man went on to give all these “reasons” why I am not on Dean’s level and should be left behind because, and here’s the best part, I’m holding him back! Well, I’m sure you can guess that I didn’t much appreciate that, but before I get into all the reasons why this guy is way off base, let me give you a little background.

Dean and I are REALLY dedicated to and involved with personal growth. We pretty much eat, breathe, and sleep it all day, everyday. We’re always finding ways to stay connected to that passion for progression so we, yes WE, created a FB group dedicated to personal growth. We’ve been painstakingly selective with the members added because we wanted to make sure it was a good environment for people at all different levels of personal growth.

It’s been a really good thing so far and several people have gotten a lot of value out of being able to converse and network with like-minded individuals. Yesterday, I posted in the group that I was happy to announce that I now have an accountability partner who happens to be close to Dean and is in our group. I was really happy to share that because I’m not someone who pretends to have my shit together. I KNOW I don’t and I’m not ashamed to admit I could use any and all support.

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Well, little did I know, that would trigger Mr. Asshole to decide he needed to save “Dean’s life” from his wretched girlfriend. Haha. Well, please allow me to enlighten you all (and the asshole) on just how awful I really am. For Dean’s business, I am the one who wrote all the copy, from top to bottom, on his wonderful bottles for his product. Me. I wrote it in about 6 minutes because I am just AWESOME like that.

In addition to that, many of the ideas he is now using or was inspired by were mine. I was and am happy to share my intellect with him because at the end of the day, that’s my boo. His success means a great deal to me, just as mine means the same to him. It’s called fucking teamwork, yo. Heard of it, Mr. Asshole?

I don’t need to have it all figured out and neither does Dean. Hell, WHO does have it all figured out? I want to find that person because from where I’m sitting, I don’t see perfection anywhere. I admit that we are all at different levels in this game called Life, but I don’t ever think that I am BETTER (or less, for that matter) than anyone else. Where’s the value in that?

What can be gained from seeing yourself in an elevated position so long as you can look down upon others? That’s not what growth is about, people. If you’re still doing things like that, then guess what? YOU have some growing still to do. There is ALWAYS something to be learned from someone who has different struggles than your own.

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Be the hand to help, not the one to hinder.

 

It’s important for me to live in my truth. I try to do that every single day and I am BRUTALLY honest with myself. I don’t need to look at someone else and point out their shortcomings; I have my own to work on. I no longer look outside of myself to criticize. There are plenty of areas of opportunity right in my mirror and I welcome the challenge every single day.

To all the people who are struggling with their issues, their trauma, their depression, their rage, their fear, their conflict, and their strife, this post is dedicated to YOU! You, the reader living with these unbearable things and still choosing to continue the good fight. Please don’t let one asshole, or 20, deter you from your path of personal growth.

Allow it to feed that fire of progressiveness that burns inside you. Encourage your friends and family who may also be struggling by continuously shining brightly and bravely. Please believe me when I tell you that you are worthy of self-love and self-admiration and as soon as you start to believe that, other people will see it and be inspired by you.

I believe in you and I know you can continue on even when the pain feels like it’s burying you. Please know that it isn’t unless you allow it. You hold all the power to your destiny and no one can take that from you. Don’t let some random stranger derail you. Know your own damn worth and fight back in a positive way. There’s nothing that says FUCK YOU louder than the boisterous sound of SUCCESS and OVERCOMING!

And when all else fails, light up a blunt and start again tomorrow. You got this.

Til next time, friends.

Hardy Har

The Pursuit of Higher Self

Bad Decision/Good Lesson

Hey guys! This is going to be a pretty short blog post and, unfortunately, a sober one! 😩 I bet you’re wondering why that is. Well, in about 7.5 hours, I will be boarding a plane to return to my beloved Cuba!!! I can finally get excited about it now, but let me tell you, today was the f*cking day from HELL! Glad that fiasco is behind me now!

This will be my first time doing an international trip solo. The last time I went to Cuba, I met a friend there and we stayed together and explored side-by-side. I gotta be honest, that was also a nightmare, BUT I learned so much about myself! I mean, I was pushed to my limit in just about every way you can imagine and still managed to have a beautiful experience. ❤️

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I cannot WAIT to return to this beautiful Cuban view! | Photo NOT by me.

Curious about the title? I know I would be curious if I was reading this amazingly awesome blog.😉​ Haha! So, about that title: I made an impulsive move and it resulted in my being SUPER DUPER stressed out! I mean, it got ugly and still isn’t so great, but I learned a valuable lesson. You’d think that after making the same or similar mistakes my whole life, I’d have learned the lessons before now!

Nope! Haha! No such luck here, BUT I finally I arrived to the party and told myself that I will not put myself in a risky situation that causes so much stress again. If the shoe doesn’t fit, I ain’t wearing it! Really, it doesn’t make any sense to make moves in life that cause so much personal mayhem. Why bother? After all, I’m [and YOU] the only who will clean up the messes. Why make life harder?

My advice to myself, and you again, is to LEARN and move on! It’s life. Shit happens and it isn’t all bad or good and it’s always caused by our own decision making. Whatever you’ve done that turned out to be a big slap in the face, I hope you learned from it. I hope you took whatever lesson was there for you, added it to your list of “Well, I’m never doing that again” and forged ahead!

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Or  “big BOY undies.” Whichever works! 🙃

Keep your head up guys! You’re human and sometimes it takes 20 years of making the same redundant mistakes over and over before we realize, “Ah! This doesn’t give me what I want. Time to change it up!” There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that! It’s what you’re supposed to be doing and frankly, if you think you have it all figured out, I’d bet you a billion bucks you don’t!

Get off your high horse and cut yourself some slack. Your higher self already has and is ready to move the hell on. Please oblige and get to it already! You’re not alone in your pursuit of higher self! We all struggle and do things we regret. Do those things have to be unforgivable acts? Nope, so don’t try to make them. Forgive and [DON’T] forget!

Alright guys, as promised, this was short and sweet. It was more an act of consistency on my part. I told myself, and all of you, last week that I would be consistent. 2018 is the year of DOING WHAT THE F*CK I SAY I WILL! And alas, I pushed out some content to meet my goal. Sounds like a win to me! Thanks for reading, friends. Wish me luck on this crazy trip! 😙

Til next time,

Hardy HarThe Pursuit of Higher Self

Hello 2018: It’s Time to Up the Ante

The only option I have is to succeed in whatever I set out to do.

Happy New Year, my wonderful weed-loving friends and supporters! I hope the end of 2017 rounded out merrily for you and yours and that the intro to 2018 has been off to a magical start!

You may have noticed that I’ve been a bit MIA. What began as a holiday hiatus, quickly segued into a holiday, death-inducing flu recovery. Ya’ll, I have never in my life had a flu like this monster! If you’ve been subjected to the horror that is this season’s nasty influenza nightmare, you deserve a f*cking MEDAL! This thing right here is NO JOKE!

It’s begins like a thief in the night. Not a single problem, symptom, or warning. Then suddenly BAM! You’re knocking on death’s door for 10 miserable days! This illness took out my whole household and then some! Almost everyone in my immediate family has gotten sick with this, except my stepfather and my sister…so far.

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Anyway, I said all that to say that I spent my NYE trying not to perish in my bed from this horrible virus. However, I gotta say that despite all the illness, 2018 is already off to a great start! There have been a couple of things that previously would have had me backpedaling into a semi-negative perception, but not this time!

I accepted all the shortcomings, fails, poor decisions, and missed opportunities of 2017. I chalked it up to “Ok, all that happened, so what’s next?” and decided to keep it moving. I know I put some positive ideas in motion to help me solve some of the problems I created towards the end of the year. Thankfully, I’m starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel (FINALLY).

That light brings with it many blessings, but the one that I’m most interested in is “drive.” Yeah, that little five letter word has really given me pause. You see, I’m now 32 years old and I can admit that I’ve spent my life lacking drive and ambition. I was pretty complacent with my life for many years. I had tons of ideas, but no real desire to do anything with them.

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No sense crying over spilled milk. It’s on to the next!

 

But thanks to all the hard [READ painful] work I put into my personal growth last year, I’m proud to report that drive has taken root inside me and I feel it’s quiet buzz and hum under my skin, coursing through my veins. I hear it in the conversations I have with people and I see it in my thoughts.

The realization that I’ve actually committed to something for the long haul, and not my usual temporary distraction, has empowered me! It’s what has kept me focused in my mind while my body has been shutting down. It’s kept me networking and creating valuable connections with people I otherwise may not have engaged with.

It has kept me from getting discouraged and wanting to throw in the towel. It’s what pushes me to write and contemplate new topics. You guys, I can’t stress enough how happy I am about this change within myself! It’s liberating and exciting! I’m driven to see my vision come to fruition and I’m so proud of that. About f*cking time! Haha!

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So, what now? Well, it’s time to up the ante! There were a number of important items on my To Do list that, *surprise*, didn’t get done. I’m so tired of them being incomplete and decided that they will get done by then end of February. Those things include finally launching my new site, uploading my first Podcast episodes (two episodes already recorded), having my logo and cards created, and giving hard energy to my ganja yoga project with my friend.

In the past, maybe all of that would have seemed overwhelming, but now I know I’ll complete those tasks by the deadline (hopefully ahead of schedule). The only option I have is to succeed in whatever I set out to do. I can honestly say, I didn’t feel that way about my blog before. I was doing some of necessary activities and it certainly was important to me, but I still kept thinking of “outs.”

I was the queen of multiple plan Bs. People who know me personally can attest to that. In theory it seems like a good idea to have “options,” but take a it from a person whose life was built on that. It’s hell. Pure mayhem! It created conflict where it never would have been. Everything was a distraction or could potentially be.

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No more options. Time to pick a side and stay there!

And that same principle is what was happening in my mind about the blog. I kept telling myself, “Hey, if this doesn’t work out, you have all these other talents.” Now, it’s not incorrect. I do have other talents, but so what? If I never pick one, what am I truly accomplished at? A whole lotta nada!

But, somehow, while I wasn’t looking, this became the only thing I want to do. I accept that I prefer to communicate by writing and it feels natural. I like it and I want to keep doing it. So that’s it. I don’t have another option because I choose not to. And just like that, a girl is driven. Haha Dope AF. 😎

Dean always tells me, and has been since we met, “I don’t know what you can’t do. I know that when you focus on something, you can max that sh*t out!” I used to be a little baffled by that comment. I never could quite get what he meant. To me it seemed very obvious what I couldn’t do. Tsk tsk. How incredibly shortsighted of me.

Now that I know better, I’m excited to prove my old self wrong. I’m ready to show myself that I can do what in the entire, flying fuck I want. And what I want is to win.

See you next week, guys. As always, thanks for reading.

Hardy Har The Pursuit of Higher Self

 

Let Growth Flourish

Growth. That word is so exciting to see and even better to experience. When people see the word, they immediately correlate it with abundance. Most of us want to grow our family, money, and physical health. Those are all important, but I also want to squeeze in there mental health.

To me, everything begins and ends there. Ultimately, that’s why I started smoking weed. I got to the point where I was comfortable giving it a try to help me control my anxiety. I had no clue it would allow me to learn about who I am.

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Delectable strain of the evening. | Photo credit: Weedphotos.com

I’ve learned so much about my strengths and I’ve learned even more from my weaknesses. I was able to ask myself the question “why am I anxious in this situation?” I knew there was a root to the anxiety, but I didn’t know what. Eventually, I began to ferret out the roots to various problems, thus beginning my transformation.

But, like all things in this life, it must be learned and practiced. I have so many days during which I feel completely overwhelmed. Sometimes throwing up my hands seems like a really good idea in the moment, but I’ve learned that way of thinking is only a learned and practiced behavior. I can always learn and/or implement something better.

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Growing isn’t always easy or pretty, but it’s always worth it in the end.

That’s where I am now. I’m actively learning and practicing new skills daily. My sole desire is to be able to give the perfect amount of my energy to exactly the right subject. I don’t want to be conflicted about things that shouldn’t even matter to me. I want to be assured and confident in all decisions.

With goals like that, I know I’m going to need some help from people who harness the skills I need development with. So, I’ve decided I want a life coach. Yeah, I’ve totally become one of those people who actually wants a life coach. LBVS. Obtaining a life coach is the next like a suped up mentor. Here’s my rationale…

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Photo credit: Coachthelife.com

If I had someone whose entire purpose during our interactions was to help me implement changes permanently, I’d get a turbo boost for this transformation journey. I feel the same way about mental/emotional counseling. A patient pays for a professional’s time and education to help sort out his/her sh*t. The same perspective can be applied to the assistance of a life coach.

If any of my lovely readers know a life coach reasonably priced in Los Angeles, don’t be stingy! Sharing is caring, friends, so please slide into my DM (aka the contact page found here) with the deets. 😘 Have you ever used a life coach or considered doing so? Let me know in the comments below.

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In addition to the life coach decision, I’m also in the process of adding new people to my circle of friends. I really need the extra boost having purposeful relationships can provide. That’s not to say that my existing circle isn’t purposeful, but as I change, so do my activities and opinions. It’s time to add some new blood to the mix.

Dean told me earlier this week that since he values his energy and space, he’s extremely selective about who gets an invitation into his life. At first, that didn’t make a ton of sense to me because I’m such a social butterfly, but the more I think about this with my new perspective, the more sense his logic makes!

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So, that’s what’s happening in my mind/world this week. Lots of self-reflection within all my various roles (mother, daughter, girlfriend, etc.) underway and I have to say that I’m really happy to do so. It’s been a long time coming and it feels good to grow. I hope you’re growing, too. As always, thanks for the read. ♥

Til next time,

Hardy Har

The Pursuit of Higher Self

 

 

 

 

 

 

AHS: #KILLERCOMBO OF THE WEEK: BLOWN AWAY

Hey guys and welcome back to my blog! I hope you know how much I appreciate the visit.

Today’s post is a short and sweet one. Actually, I have noticed that most of the Activeps_1219_high_kite High Sesh posts are shorter. Makes sense being that I’m high as a kite while I’m writing AHSs.

Anyway, this one is the first post I’ve written that features a #killercombo. I think this is something I will do once a week with AHSs going forward. Since Dean loves making super awesome combinations for us to indulge in, I thought it would be cool to give them a write-up for some of my fellow Cannalovers to try out.

As always, tread carefully with these combos. We smoke a lot of heavy-hitting sativas and ALL of our strains are premium quality so the highs can be much more impacting. If smoking is newish to you, please don’t try to blow your top off with the combos I mention. There are levels to this shit. Take each one and build up your tolerance. Haha! Now, let’s get into it!


6:20 Dean and I started working out about 5:30 and he decided to make a #killercombo workout mix for us this evening and the shit BLEW ME AWAY! And since it did, I decided to call this combo Blown Away. Guys, it’s so damn good. Here’s what’s all mixed in:

Layer 1. Charge 504 (sativa)

Layer 2. Super Lemon Haze Concentrate (sativa dominant hybrid)

Layer 3. Durban Poison (sativa)

Layer 4: Super Lemon Haze Concentrate

Layer 5: Super Jack (hybrid)

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Look at all the lush kush.

 

Okay, so I know you’re probably thinking, “these MFs might not make it” based on that crazy mixture of premium Cali kush, but on the contrary my friends, we are thriving! This combination completely transformed my already intense workouts. I mean, I was EXTRA with it tonight! We worked out intensely just under an hour.

Back in the day, I would have cringed to workout for even 20 minutes and now suddenly I’m enjoying an hour long sweat fest?! Seriously, who the. hell. am. I? Lol! I am so elated that I’ve gotten to the point that something that I loathed before has become something I  now love. Such a breath of fresh air.

About the high: Alright, so I think you get the drift that this sh*t is an energy turbo boost, BUT what I also want you to know is that about an hour into that turbo boost (with intense workout), the high will mellow into an energetic focused high, et voila! That’s how I’m able to write this post free of pesky energy shakes and hyperactivity! Thanks to the super awesome Super Lemon Haze coming through with it’s happy energy and easy focus, the high never turns into a sativa overload. It also helped that we worked out like maniacs. 6:43

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BLOWN AWAY had me feeling like this guy.

7:05 Wow. Didn’t think 20 minutes passed already! Lol Well, I can’t say I expected this high to allow me to be ultra focused, but it does allow for a decent amount of productivity time. I can’t help with homework right now, but I would be super fun playing a game or having a dance sesh with the Kiddo. She’ll be home soon so I’ll be able to wear her out with some silliness before she heads to bed. 7:07

 

7:08 I’m feeling a major energy boost which means I am going to take a hiatus and workout for a bit until it’s dancing time. 7:09

7:21 LMAO I literally sat right here grooving to this Eve song Dean is playing! 😂 Let me try that again. Haha. 7:21

kb8:14 Back! One of the things I meant to note earlier about my working out is that I almost NEVER workout in my actual, over-priced, extra tight workout clothes anymore. I will literally start doing weight reps and cardio workouts in whatever I’m wearing at the moment. I even do it in pajamas; in fact, I busted mad moves with the kettlebell in my nightgown tonight. 😂 Lol! I don’t let anything stop me from working out. If it’s on my task list (which it is), it’s getting done. Laundry day? No problem! Get it in in your underwear! Lol. It’s actually pretty fun. 😉 Haha! 8:27

8:59 I think I’m going to wrap this little post up for the night. I just smoked ANOTHER combo called #DAINTY and it’s an indica dominant hybrid combo so I want to try some meditation. My energy has been a little twacked this week. Time to find the center…or try to. 9:01

Til next time,

Hardy Har

The Pursuit of Higher Self

 

 

 

Setback or Come-Up?

Menu: Lamb’s Bread/Breath + Pink Lemonade + Green Goddess

Eats: Taco Bell + Southern Girl Desserts (yummmmm)


 

8:45 Hey guys, thanks for coming back! I get supremely gleeful when people donate their time to read my musings. #WarmNFuzzy

Today has been an interesting day. I awoke with a sunny disposition that would rival any of our best SoCal sunny days, but somewhere during the course of the day, a funk began to settle in. By the early evening, I had a serious case of the Mondays.

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My sentiments exactly!

 

Next thing I knew, I was second-guessing all of my progress and just being a general b*tch to myself. The good news is I made sure to not negatively impact someone else’s day. The bad news is my bad mood felt more like a setback!

Yeah, I said it. I had a setback and guess what: I’M HUMAN and so are you! We are all entitled to make mistakes or be in a bitchy mood. That’s apart of the experience and those moments are necessary in order to appreciate the other side of the coin. In other words: appreciate the sh*t just as much as the glitter.

So, how did I get myself out of that funk? I had help from my mentor. Yup, remember step 3 from my last blog post (click ➡ here ⬅ in case you missed it)? Well, I am all about putting my own advice to use, so I leaned pretty hard on my mentor/boyfriend, Dean.

And just to keep the theme of following step 3 going, Dean did an exercise with me that his mentor did with him! Love it!! Anyway, the task was to create a table comprised of three columns and 15 rows. Above each column, I wrote the headers Skills, Behaviors, and Need to Learn. See my example below.

SKILLS BEHAVIORS NEED TO LEARN
Writing
Networking

I’m sure you can see where this is going. I filled out the chart under each header and *spoiler alert* it was really hard for me to come up with my skills! Keep in mind that “skills” can be pretty much anything. I had difficulty identifying my skills because I would judge the skill as irrelevant.  In doing so, I inadvertently learned a lesson about my confidence and the areas for improvement there. #Twofer! Ultimately,  writing and networking were added to the list.

The next column I filled out was the “behaviors” section. Here is where I listed my actual behaviors. If you are doing this exercise, please keep your mind open, just like I advised above. Don’t think of things as “good” or “bad.” Here’s an example of my second column. And yes, I really did write “laziness” down. Part of the growth journey is being honest with myself, even when the truth isn’t favorable.

SKILLS BEHAVIORS NEED TO LEARN
Writing Chatting on social media
Networking Laziness

By now, you know what I did next. Yep, filled out the last column. This section was the easiest one for me to complete. There is a TON of information I need to learn so I literally just picked the most important 15!

SKILLS BEHAVIORS NEED TO LEARN
Writing Chatting on social media Stronger parenting skills
Networking Laziness Time management

By this point in the exercise, my crappy mood was beginning to dissipate. Of course it didn’t hurt that I toked a bit on some that good-good Lamb’s Bread concoction to speed the process along. hehe! Next, Dean told me to write down all the behaviors I didn’t want on a separate space of my paper. For this example, there’s only one undesirable behavior and that’s “laziness.” What? Social media is my bread and butter. No way I can stop being a virtual social butterfly! 😇

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For the last step of this exercise, I decided to put my own twist on it. I picked one item from each column and formed an affirmation. That affirmation will be the focus of the day for me tomorrow. Here’s how my affirmation came out: “I am an active writer who gets her tasks completed.” I swapped out “laziness” for “active” because lazy is NOT something I want to be!From there, it’s all about putting my affirmation to work for me. I decided to make a daily task list to help me with my time management and productivity. So, we shall see how it goes tomorrow! I am really excited and I am in a much better space mentally, emotionally, and spiritually than I was at the beginning of the activity. And for sh*ts and giggles, I decided to turn it into a blog post. How’s that for productive? 😋

 


 

I wrote the above post on 12/4/17, but am behind with posting it; however, I wanted to give a summary of how the day went based on my activity.

I woke up with a plan and I stuck to it. I told myself that I was going to put my affirmation into practice and I did. That singular thought set my entire day into a positive direction, but if I’m keepin’ it real, what I did wasn’t a profound act of humanity. It’s something millions, even billions of people do every single day, but for some of us, getting ourselves on the right path is a lot harder for one reason or another.

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For me, one of those reasons is I’m a sexual assault survivor. Living with a secret like that would make anyone veer off the road a bit, but the good news is that I decided 6 years ago that my life was going to be different. The best news is that it IS different and my light is finally shining! Corny, but so ridiculously true and I love it!

Each moment that passes brings with it a chance to break the cycle. I finally snatched my chance. I broke my cycle and I will continue breaking it over and over and over again until I finally am Higher Self. It’s only up from here, with my trusty side kick, Mary Jane, of course. 😉 😤  Needless to say, the minor setback I had on Monday, became a great teaching moment for me. It’s safe to say I had a MAJOR come-up! #Winning!

Til next time, friends.

Hardy Har  

The Pursuit of Higher Self