Setback or Come-Up?

Menu: Lamb’s Bread/Breath + Pink Lemonade + Green Goddess

Eats: Taco Bell + Southern Girl Desserts (yummmmm)


8:45 Hey guys, thanks for coming back! I get supremely gleeful when people donate their time to read my musings. #WarmNFuzzy

Today has been an interesting day. I awoke with a sunny disposition that would rival any of our best SoCal sunny days, but somewhere during the course of the day, a funk began to settle in. By the early evening, I had a serious case of the Mondays.

My sentiments exactly!


Next thing I knew, I was second-guessing all of my progress and just being a general b*tch to myself. The good news is I made sure to not negatively impact someone else’s day. The bad news is my bad mood felt more like a setback!

Yeah, I said it. I had a setback and guess what: I’M HUMAN and so are you! We are all entitled to make mistakes or be in a bitchy mood. That’s apart of the experience and those moments are necessary in order to appreciate the other side of the coin. In other words: appreciate the sh*t just as much as the glitter.

So, how did I get myself out of that funk? I had help from my mentor. Yup, remember step 3 from my last blog post (click ➡ here ⬅ in case you missed it)? Well, I am all about putting my own advice to use, so I leaned pretty hard on my mentor/boyfriend, Dean.

And just to keep the theme of following step 3 going, Dean did an exercise with me that his mentor did with him! Love it!! Anyway, the task was to create a table comprised of three columns and 15 rows. Above each column, I wrote the headers Skills, Behaviors, and Need to Learn. See my example below.


I’m sure you can see where this is going. I filled out the chart under each header and *spoiler alert* it was really hard for me to come up with my skills! Keep in mind that “skills” can be pretty much anything. I had difficulty identifying my skills because I would judge the skill as irrelevant.  In doing so, I inadvertently learned a lesson about my confidence and the areas for improvement there. #Twofer! Ultimately,  writing and networking were added to the list.

The next column I filled out was the “behaviors” section. Here is where I listed my actual behaviors. If you are doing this exercise, please keep your mind open, just like I advised above. Don’t think of things as “good” or “bad.” Here’s an example of my second column. And yes, I really did write “laziness” down. Part of the growth journey is being honest with myself, even when the truth isn’t favorable.

Writing Chatting on social media
Networking Laziness

By now, you know what I did next. Yep, filled out the last column. This section was the easiest one for me to complete. There is a TON of information I need to learn so I literally just picked the most important 15!

Writing Chatting on social media Stronger parenting skills
Networking Laziness Time management

By this point in the exercise, my crappy mood was beginning to dissipate. Of course it didn’t hurt that I toked a bit on some that good-good Lamb’s Bread concoction to speed the process along. hehe! Next, Dean told me to write down all the behaviors I didn’t want on a separate space of my paper. For this example, there’s only one undesirable behavior and that’s “laziness.” What? Social media is my bread and butter. No way I can stop being a virtual social butterfly! 😇


For the last step of this exercise, I decided to put my own twist on it. I picked one item from each column and formed an affirmation. That affirmation will be the focus of the day for me tomorrow. Here’s how my affirmation came out: “I am an active writer who gets her tasks completed.” I swapped out “laziness” for “active” because lazy is NOT something I want to be!From there, it’s all about putting my affirmation to work for me. I decided to make a daily task list to help me with my time management and productivity. So, we shall see how it goes tomorrow! I am really excited and I am in a much better space mentally, emotionally, and spiritually than I was at the beginning of the activity. And for sh*ts and giggles, I decided to turn it into a blog post. How’s that for productive? 😋



I wrote the above post on 12/4/17, but am behind with posting it; however, I wanted to give a summary of how the day went based on my activity.

I woke up with a plan and I stuck to it. I told myself that I was going to put my affirmation into practice and I did. That singular thought set my entire day into a positive direction, but if I’m keepin’ it real, what I did wasn’t a profound act of humanity. It’s something millions, even billions of people do every single day, but for some of us, getting ourselves on the right path is a lot harder for one reason or another.


For me, one of those reasons is I’m a sexual assault survivor. Living with a secret like that would make anyone veer off the road a bit, but the good news is that I decided 6 years ago that my life was going to be different. The best news is that it IS different and my light is finally shining! Corny, but so ridiculously true and I love it!

Each moment that passes brings with it a chance to break the cycle. I finally snatched my chance. I broke my cycle and I will continue breaking it over and over and over again until I finally am Higher Self. It’s only up from here, with my trusty side kick, Mary Jane, of course. 😉 😤  Needless to say, the minor setback I had on Monday, became a great teaching moment for me. It’s safe to say I had a MAJOR come-up! #Winning!

Til next time, friends.

Hardy Har  

The Pursuit of Higher Self


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